I know I am a lost cause...but, GO BROWNS!
Sunday, October 07, 2007
The Difference between Baptists and Presbyterians
A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction.
"Hello," said the little boy.
"Hi," replied the little girl.
"Where are you going?" asked the little boy.
"I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home," answered the little girl.
"Me too," replied the little boy. "I'm also on my way home from church."
Which church do you go to?" asked the little boy.
I go to the Presbyterian church back down the road," replied the little girl. "What about you?"
"I go to the Baptist church back at the top of the hill," replied the little boy.
They discover that they are both going the same way so they decided that they'd walk together. They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially flooded the road so there was no way that they could get across to the other side without getting wet.
"If I get my new Sunday dress wet my Mom's going to skin me alive," said the little girl.
"My Mom will tan my hide too if I get my new Sunday suit wet," replied the little boy.
"I tell you what I think I'll do," said the little girl. "I'm gonna pull off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across."
"That's a good idea," replied the little boy. "I'm going to do the same thing with my suit."
So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without getting their clothes wet.They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before putting their clothes back on when the little boy finally remarked,
"You know, I never did realize before just how much difference there really is between a Presbyterian and a Baptist."
A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction.
"Hello," said the little boy.
"Hi," replied the little girl.
"Where are you going?" asked the little boy.
"I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home," answered the little girl.
"Me too," replied the little boy. "I'm also on my way home from church."
Which church do you go to?" asked the little boy.
I go to the Presbyterian church back down the road," replied the little girl. "What about you?"
"I go to the Baptist church back at the top of the hill," replied the little boy.
They discover that they are both going the same way so they decided that they'd walk together. They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially flooded the road so there was no way that they could get across to the other side without getting wet.
"If I get my new Sunday dress wet my Mom's going to skin me alive," said the little girl.
"My Mom will tan my hide too if I get my new Sunday suit wet," replied the little boy.
"I tell you what I think I'll do," said the little girl. "I'm gonna pull off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across."
"That's a good idea," replied the little boy. "I'm going to do the same thing with my suit."
So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without getting their clothes wet.They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before putting their clothes back on when the little boy finally remarked,
"You know, I never did realize before just how much difference there really is between a Presbyterian and a Baptist."
Saturday, October 06, 2007
I Am a Christian
By Maya Angelou
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."
I'm whispering "I was lost,"
Now I'm found and forgiven.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need CHRIST to be my guide.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and need HIS strength to carry on.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
but, God believes I am worth it.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
who received God's good grace, somehow.
By Maya Angelou
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."
I'm whispering "I was lost,"
Now I'm found and forgiven.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need CHRIST to be my guide.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and need HIS strength to carry on.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
but, God believes I am worth it.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
who received God's good grace, somehow.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
This is what I look like when I am somewhat nervous, but willing to BS my way through it! I was being interviewed while I was Executive Director of the Mustard Seed. I think we were celebrating our 25th Anniversary of ministry to mentally challenged adults.
Some very good perspective on the complex nature of the Middle East...
Mideast Turmoil: More Complex than the Ishmael-Isaac Rift
By: Karen L. Willoughby
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (BP)--While it’s an oversimplification to say the strife in the Middle East at its core is just bad blood between brothers, some people believe there is biblical justification for that position.
They’re referring to Abraham’s two sons by two mothers: Ishmael, the firstborn to handmaiden Hagar, and Isaac, born in God’s timing to 100-year-old Sarah.
Islamic studies professor Samuel Shahid, however, sees the biblical justification theory as flawed, cautioning that it plays to Islamic interests.
“Muslims insist that all Arabs are the descendants of Ishmael in order to give legitimacy to Muhammad as a descendant of the prophet,” said Shahid, a Palestinian educated in Lebanon who teaches at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. “Arabs actually belong to many different branches.”
All Arabs could not have come from Ishmael, Shahid said, because after Sarah died, Abraham married an Arab woman, Keturah.
“Where did she come from, if Ishmael were the first Arab?” Shahid asked.
R. Dennis Cole, professor of Old Testament and archaeology at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, concurred.
"The current designation 'Arabs' is itself multifaceted, including many groups which have no Semitic ancestry," Cole said. "It includes many whose native tongue today is Arabic, but whose ancestry may be Indo-European, African, Arabian (as in from the Arabian peninsula), and many others."
A look at the past provides a roadmap of events leading to the current war raging between Israel and Hezbollah, who are Lebanese Shiites said to be undergirded by Persian Iran, and between Israel and Hamas, who are Palestinian. Both groups call for the eradication of Israel.
BIBLE TIMES
Some people in discussing the current crisis between Israel and Hezbollah to the north and Hamas in the south point to the Roman destruction of Israel by Hadrian less than 150 years after the birth of Jesus. That’s when the Romans, to obliterate any connection Jews might have felt to the area, renamed Canaan with a Latin name -– Syria Palestina –- which corresponded with the Hebraic word rendered “Philistine.”
The name was chosen to remove any connection Jews might have had for the land, Cole said. The Philistines had been Israel’s enemy during the days of Israel's judges. Who were the people who imprisoned Samson and who grew a giant named Goliath? God in Amos 9:7 said He brought the Philistines from Caphtor, which some say is another name for Crete.
“The majority of the Philistines came to the region as part of a mass migration of Aegean and Mediterranean tribes known collectively as the Sea Peoples, who had repeatedly attacked Egypt,” Cole said. Ramesses III drove them out from much of Egypt, but he was unable to oust them from what today is known as the Gaza Strip and north to what today is modern Tel Aviv.
Tiglath-Pileser III of Assyria by 732 B.C. had conquered the Philistines, and all traces of them “as a people or ethnic group” disappeared by the time of Alexander’s conquest of the land in 332 B.C., Cole said. He said he sees no geneaological connection between ancient Philistines and modern-day Palestinians.
The Roman Emperor Hadrian, from 132-135 A.D., squashed a major Jewish uprising, banned Jews from living in Jerusalem and dispersed most remaining Judean Jews throughout the Roman Empire, Cole said.
Arab conquests took Palestine from the Roman Empire in the seventh century, Shahid said, and for the following 850 years, the biblical “Land of Canaan” known as Palestine was occupied by various Arab peoples before becoming part of the Ottoman (Turkish) Empire in 1517.
19th CENTURY
By the early 1800s, Jews, the largest non-Christian group in Europe, were targets for ridicule and discrimination, just as people often are by those who fear anyone “different.” The concept of a homeland for Jews in Palestine was mentioned as early as 1840, Shahid said. By the 1880s, European Jews were buying land in Palestine and farming it, to the chagrin of Bedouin Arabs who didn’t like the fences, and the cry for a Jewish homeland intensified.
WORLD WAR I ERA
The Ottoman Empire was defeated in World War I with the help of Arabs inspired by “Lawrence of Arabia,” a British intelligence officer. As part of the Treaty of Versailles, in 1919 the British Empire was given control of “Palestine,” an area that stretched from the Mediterranean Sea to Iraq. That same year, Britain approved the Balfour Declaration, which appeared to favor the establishment in Palestine of a homeland for Jews, said Nancy Duke, associate professor of history at Louisiana College.
Three years later, the newly formed League of Nations gave Britain a “Palestinian Mandate,” which included “the establishment of the Jewish national home” and “safeguarding the civil and religious rights of all the inhabitants of Palestine,” according to Article 2 of the mandate.
Three months after the signing of the Palestinian Mandate, Britain separated what today is known as Jordan; it then was known as the Transjordan because it was on the other side of the Jordan River from the rest of Palestine. That separation limited Jewish expansion in Transjordan, which resulted in its intensifying in what today is known as Israel, Duke said.
GROWING RESENTMENT
During the 1920s, 100,000 Jewish immigrants settled in Palestine, and the British began to set quotas to stave off rising Arab resentment. One outcome of the resultant hostilities was the separation of the Jewish and Arab economies in Palestine, which had been more or less intertwined until that time.
“That disengagement was a pivotal point at which the Jewish population in Palestine became independent and self-sustaining,” Duke said.
The Great [Arab] Uprising of 1936-39 was essentially a revolt triggered by increased Jewish immigration stemming from European anti-Semitism. The British response included the MacDonald White Paper of 1939, which appeared to many people to rescind the Balfour Declaration. The White Paper indicated that since more than 450,000 Jews were at that time already living in Palestine, the “homeland for Jews” aims of the Balfour Declaration had been met.
“It should be noted that, according to ‘The Modern Middle East from Imperialism to Freedom: 1800-1958’ by Emory Bogle, the Jews remained a decided minority of the population and owned about 5 percent of the land,” Duke said.
Jews felt betrayed by the White Paper; Arabs felt squeezed by Jews buying land that the Arabs hadn’t seen any need for “owning.”
Then came World War II. In its aftermath, 250,000 Jews were stranded in displaced persons camps in Europe, unable to get into Palestine because of British-imposed immigration quotas, set to appease Arabs. Leon Uris’ best-selling book “Exodus” and an Otto Preminger movie of the same name describe that tumultuous time.
“The British continued the immigration ban because they considered it more important to support Arab interests, because of British interests in Egypt and other Arab lands, and especially to guarantee the friendship of oil-rich Saudi Arabia,” Duke said. “As Bogle states, ‘It [the Labour Party] had to protect British interests in the Middle East while it considered necessary adjustments upon the possibility of ending its long domination of India and elsewhere. Also, the Labour Party only endorsed a limited Zionist presence of a Jewish National Home in a bi-national Palestine.’”
STAKING CLAIM
The Jewish underground militia, which had been growing in strength since the late 1930s, began terrorizing the British, including bombing British headquarters at the King David Hotel in Jerusalem in 1946.
“Seeing that the situation was quickly spiraling out of hand, the British announced their desire to terminate their mandate,” Duke said. They were gone by May 1948.
“The Jews seized the opportunity and declared their independence as a state,” Shahid said. “The Arab League fought them, and lost, and the borders were redefined.”
More than 700,000 Arabs scattered during the fighting, mostly to Syria, Egypt, Jordan and Lebanon. Most expected to return to their homes within a few months, but when the Jews won, Arabs were not allowed to return. Resentments festered, Shahid said.
20 YEARS PASS
Political tensions between Israel and her neighbors erupted as armed combat in 1967. That’s when Egypt expelled United Nations forces from the Gaza Strip and closed the strategic Straits of Tiran to Israeli vessels. Israel attacked on June 5, 1967. Six days later, “the Jewish state emerged victorious,” Shahid said. “Israel had defeated the armies of three large Arab states and decimated their air forces. Territorially, Israel conquered the West Bank, Gaza Strip, Sinai Peninsula and Golan Heights.”
Egypt’s foiled attack on Yom Kippur six years later, in 1973, was a blip on an otherwise relatively calm 15-year period, except for near-continual resentment-fueled skirmishes between Israel and her Arab neighbors.
LEBANON
With ancient roots growing into the Ottoman Empire, Lebanon became part of France’s Syrian Mandate, the mainly Christian part of it, after World War I. Enough Arabs lived there, though, that when Lebanon acquired its independence in 1943, agreement was reached that its president would be Christian; prime minister, Muslim; and the head of Parliament, Shiite.
“That is the same still today,” said Shahid, who moved to Lebanon from Jordan in 1960 to study at American University of Beirut.
More than 110,000 Palestinians left their homeland in 1948, when Israel declared itself a Jewish nation. Most expected to return within a few months, but when the Arab League forces were defeated, Arab resentment festered. Starting in 1968, several factions of Palestinian militants began to use southern Lebanon as a launching pad for attacks on Israel, said Shahid, who studied, taught and pastored in Lebanon until the late 1970s.
Resentment simmered between Palestinians and native-born Lebanese as well, and boiled over into a civil war starting in 1975, which ultimately left the nation with no effective central government, Shahid said.
“The civil war reached its peak in 1975, but it continued and continued and things were so bad for 18 years,” Shahid said.
Israel took advantage of the weakened government and retaliated in 1978 for the Palestinian attacks on Israel but was curtailed by the United Nations. Israel invaded Lebanon again in 1982, this time capturing Beirut in its desire to eradicate the Palestinian Liberation Organization from Lebanon. That’s when Hezbollah with the support of Iran started developing, Shahid said.
Israel occupied about a five-mile-wide strip of southern Lebanon until 2000 to protect northern Israeli cities from Hezbollah attacks. U.N. peacekeepers have -– ineffectively, Israelis say –- occupied southern Lebanon since 1978.
Most recently, a seemingly unending series of Hezbollah-driven rocket attacks into northern Israel erupted into retaliatory action July 12, after eight Israeli soldiers were killed and two soldiers kidnapped, according to multiple news sources. Israel went on the offensive, and that’s where we are today.
Copyright (c) 2006 Southern Baptist Convention, Baptist Press.
Mideast Turmoil: More Complex than the Ishmael-Isaac Rift
By: Karen L. Willoughby
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (BP)--While it’s an oversimplification to say the strife in the Middle East at its core is just bad blood between brothers, some people believe there is biblical justification for that position.
They’re referring to Abraham’s two sons by two mothers: Ishmael, the firstborn to handmaiden Hagar, and Isaac, born in God’s timing to 100-year-old Sarah.
Islamic studies professor Samuel Shahid, however, sees the biblical justification theory as flawed, cautioning that it plays to Islamic interests.
“Muslims insist that all Arabs are the descendants of Ishmael in order to give legitimacy to Muhammad as a descendant of the prophet,” said Shahid, a Palestinian educated in Lebanon who teaches at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. “Arabs actually belong to many different branches.”
All Arabs could not have come from Ishmael, Shahid said, because after Sarah died, Abraham married an Arab woman, Keturah.
“Where did she come from, if Ishmael were the first Arab?” Shahid asked.
R. Dennis Cole, professor of Old Testament and archaeology at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, concurred.
"The current designation 'Arabs' is itself multifaceted, including many groups which have no Semitic ancestry," Cole said. "It includes many whose native tongue today is Arabic, but whose ancestry may be Indo-European, African, Arabian (as in from the Arabian peninsula), and many others."
A look at the past provides a roadmap of events leading to the current war raging between Israel and Hezbollah, who are Lebanese Shiites said to be undergirded by Persian Iran, and between Israel and Hamas, who are Palestinian. Both groups call for the eradication of Israel.
BIBLE TIMES
Some people in discussing the current crisis between Israel and Hezbollah to the north and Hamas in the south point to the Roman destruction of Israel by Hadrian less than 150 years after the birth of Jesus. That’s when the Romans, to obliterate any connection Jews might have felt to the area, renamed Canaan with a Latin name -– Syria Palestina –- which corresponded with the Hebraic word rendered “Philistine.”
The name was chosen to remove any connection Jews might have had for the land, Cole said. The Philistines had been Israel’s enemy during the days of Israel's judges. Who were the people who imprisoned Samson and who grew a giant named Goliath? God in Amos 9:7 said He brought the Philistines from Caphtor, which some say is another name for Crete.
“The majority of the Philistines came to the region as part of a mass migration of Aegean and Mediterranean tribes known collectively as the Sea Peoples, who had repeatedly attacked Egypt,” Cole said. Ramesses III drove them out from much of Egypt, but he was unable to oust them from what today is known as the Gaza Strip and north to what today is modern Tel Aviv.
Tiglath-Pileser III of Assyria by 732 B.C. had conquered the Philistines, and all traces of them “as a people or ethnic group” disappeared by the time of Alexander’s conquest of the land in 332 B.C., Cole said. He said he sees no geneaological connection between ancient Philistines and modern-day Palestinians.
The Roman Emperor Hadrian, from 132-135 A.D., squashed a major Jewish uprising, banned Jews from living in Jerusalem and dispersed most remaining Judean Jews throughout the Roman Empire, Cole said.
Arab conquests took Palestine from the Roman Empire in the seventh century, Shahid said, and for the following 850 years, the biblical “Land of Canaan” known as Palestine was occupied by various Arab peoples before becoming part of the Ottoman (Turkish) Empire in 1517.
19th CENTURY
By the early 1800s, Jews, the largest non-Christian group in Europe, were targets for ridicule and discrimination, just as people often are by those who fear anyone “different.” The concept of a homeland for Jews in Palestine was mentioned as early as 1840, Shahid said. By the 1880s, European Jews were buying land in Palestine and farming it, to the chagrin of Bedouin Arabs who didn’t like the fences, and the cry for a Jewish homeland intensified.
WORLD WAR I ERA
The Ottoman Empire was defeated in World War I with the help of Arabs inspired by “Lawrence of Arabia,” a British intelligence officer. As part of the Treaty of Versailles, in 1919 the British Empire was given control of “Palestine,” an area that stretched from the Mediterranean Sea to Iraq. That same year, Britain approved the Balfour Declaration, which appeared to favor the establishment in Palestine of a homeland for Jews, said Nancy Duke, associate professor of history at Louisiana College.
Three years later, the newly formed League of Nations gave Britain a “Palestinian Mandate,” which included “the establishment of the Jewish national home” and “safeguarding the civil and religious rights of all the inhabitants of Palestine,” according to Article 2 of the mandate.
Three months after the signing of the Palestinian Mandate, Britain separated what today is known as Jordan; it then was known as the Transjordan because it was on the other side of the Jordan River from the rest of Palestine. That separation limited Jewish expansion in Transjordan, which resulted in its intensifying in what today is known as Israel, Duke said.
GROWING RESENTMENT
During the 1920s, 100,000 Jewish immigrants settled in Palestine, and the British began to set quotas to stave off rising Arab resentment. One outcome of the resultant hostilities was the separation of the Jewish and Arab economies in Palestine, which had been more or less intertwined until that time.
“That disengagement was a pivotal point at which the Jewish population in Palestine became independent and self-sustaining,” Duke said.
The Great [Arab] Uprising of 1936-39 was essentially a revolt triggered by increased Jewish immigration stemming from European anti-Semitism. The British response included the MacDonald White Paper of 1939, which appeared to many people to rescind the Balfour Declaration. The White Paper indicated that since more than 450,000 Jews were at that time already living in Palestine, the “homeland for Jews” aims of the Balfour Declaration had been met.
“It should be noted that, according to ‘The Modern Middle East from Imperialism to Freedom: 1800-1958’ by Emory Bogle, the Jews remained a decided minority of the population and owned about 5 percent of the land,” Duke said.
Jews felt betrayed by the White Paper; Arabs felt squeezed by Jews buying land that the Arabs hadn’t seen any need for “owning.”
Then came World War II. In its aftermath, 250,000 Jews were stranded in displaced persons camps in Europe, unable to get into Palestine because of British-imposed immigration quotas, set to appease Arabs. Leon Uris’ best-selling book “Exodus” and an Otto Preminger movie of the same name describe that tumultuous time.
“The British continued the immigration ban because they considered it more important to support Arab interests, because of British interests in Egypt and other Arab lands, and especially to guarantee the friendship of oil-rich Saudi Arabia,” Duke said. “As Bogle states, ‘It [the Labour Party] had to protect British interests in the Middle East while it considered necessary adjustments upon the possibility of ending its long domination of India and elsewhere. Also, the Labour Party only endorsed a limited Zionist presence of a Jewish National Home in a bi-national Palestine.’”
STAKING CLAIM
The Jewish underground militia, which had been growing in strength since the late 1930s, began terrorizing the British, including bombing British headquarters at the King David Hotel in Jerusalem in 1946.
“Seeing that the situation was quickly spiraling out of hand, the British announced their desire to terminate their mandate,” Duke said. They were gone by May 1948.
“The Jews seized the opportunity and declared their independence as a state,” Shahid said. “The Arab League fought them, and lost, and the borders were redefined.”
More than 700,000 Arabs scattered during the fighting, mostly to Syria, Egypt, Jordan and Lebanon. Most expected to return to their homes within a few months, but when the Jews won, Arabs were not allowed to return. Resentments festered, Shahid said.
20 YEARS PASS
Political tensions between Israel and her neighbors erupted as armed combat in 1967. That’s when Egypt expelled United Nations forces from the Gaza Strip and closed the strategic Straits of Tiran to Israeli vessels. Israel attacked on June 5, 1967. Six days later, “the Jewish state emerged victorious,” Shahid said. “Israel had defeated the armies of three large Arab states and decimated their air forces. Territorially, Israel conquered the West Bank, Gaza Strip, Sinai Peninsula and Golan Heights.”
Egypt’s foiled attack on Yom Kippur six years later, in 1973, was a blip on an otherwise relatively calm 15-year period, except for near-continual resentment-fueled skirmishes between Israel and her Arab neighbors.
LEBANON
With ancient roots growing into the Ottoman Empire, Lebanon became part of France’s Syrian Mandate, the mainly Christian part of it, after World War I. Enough Arabs lived there, though, that when Lebanon acquired its independence in 1943, agreement was reached that its president would be Christian; prime minister, Muslim; and the head of Parliament, Shiite.
“That is the same still today,” said Shahid, who moved to Lebanon from Jordan in 1960 to study at American University of Beirut.
More than 110,000 Palestinians left their homeland in 1948, when Israel declared itself a Jewish nation. Most expected to return within a few months, but when the Arab League forces were defeated, Arab resentment festered. Starting in 1968, several factions of Palestinian militants began to use southern Lebanon as a launching pad for attacks on Israel, said Shahid, who studied, taught and pastored in Lebanon until the late 1970s.
Resentment simmered between Palestinians and native-born Lebanese as well, and boiled over into a civil war starting in 1975, which ultimately left the nation with no effective central government, Shahid said.
“The civil war reached its peak in 1975, but it continued and continued and things were so bad for 18 years,” Shahid said.
Israel took advantage of the weakened government and retaliated in 1978 for the Palestinian attacks on Israel but was curtailed by the United Nations. Israel invaded Lebanon again in 1982, this time capturing Beirut in its desire to eradicate the Palestinian Liberation Organization from Lebanon. That’s when Hezbollah with the support of Iran started developing, Shahid said.
Israel occupied about a five-mile-wide strip of southern Lebanon until 2000 to protect northern Israeli cities from Hezbollah attacks. U.N. peacekeepers have -– ineffectively, Israelis say –- occupied southern Lebanon since 1978.
Most recently, a seemingly unending series of Hezbollah-driven rocket attacks into northern Israel erupted into retaliatory action July 12, after eight Israeli soldiers were killed and two soldiers kidnapped, according to multiple news sources. Israel went on the offensive, and that’s where we are today.
Copyright (c) 2006 Southern Baptist Convention, Baptist Press.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants, and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey. The evil professor forces everyone to assume new names.....
Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
A=poopsie
B=lumpy
C=buttercup
D=gadget
E=crusty
F=greasy
G=fluffy
H=cheeseball
I=chim-chim
J=stinky
K=flunky
L=boobie
M=pinky
N=zippy
O=goober
P=doofus
Q=slimy
R=loopy
S=snotty
T=tootie
U=dorkey
V=squeezit
W=oprah
X=skipper
Y=dinky
Z=zsa zsa
Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half
of your last name:
A=apple
B=toilet
C=giggle
D=burger
E=girdle
F=barf
G=lizard
H=waffle
I=cootie
J=monkey
K=potty
L=liver
M=banana
N=rhino
O=bubble
P=hamster
Q=toad
R=gizzard
S=pizza
T=gerbil
U=chicken
V=pickle
W=chuckle
X=humperdinck
Y=gorilla
Z=stinker
Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half
of your last name:
A=head
B=mouth
C=face
D=nose
E=tush
F=breath
G=pants
H=shorts
I=lips
J=honker
K=butt
L=Brain
M=tushie
N=chunks
O=hiney
P=biscuits
Q=toes
R=buns
S=fanny
T=sniffer
U=sprinkles
V=kisser
W=squirt
X=humperdink
Y=brains
Z=juice
Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
A=poopsie
B=lumpy
C=buttercup
D=gadget
E=crusty
F=greasy
G=fluffy
H=cheeseball
I=chim-chim
J=stinky
K=flunky
L=boobie
M=pinky
N=zippy
O=goober
P=doofus
Q=slimy
R=loopy
S=snotty
T=tootie
U=dorkey
V=squeezit
W=oprah
X=skipper
Y=dinky
Z=zsa zsa
Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half
of your last name:
A=apple
B=toilet
C=giggle
D=burger
E=girdle
F=barf
G=lizard
H=waffle
I=cootie
J=monkey
K=potty
L=liver
M=banana
N=rhino
O=bubble
P=hamster
Q=toad
R=gizzard
S=pizza
T=gerbil
U=chicken
V=pickle
W=chuckle
X=humperdinck
Y=gorilla
Z=stinker
Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half
of your last name:
A=head
B=mouth
C=face
D=nose
E=tush
F=breath
G=pants
H=shorts
I=lips
J=honker
K=butt
L=Brain
M=tushie
N=chunks
O=hiney
P=biscuits
Q=toes
R=buns
S=fanny
T=sniffer
U=sprinkles
V=kisser
W=squirt
X=humperdink
Y=brains
Z=juice
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
We confess that we spend too much of our lives worrying about what we will eat, drink or wear, that we are not content with what we have, that our love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.
We reject the legalistic, rigid, guilt-producing model for giving and affirm the responsible, compassionate, cheerful model for giving.
We accept the call of Christ to store up treasures in Heaven rather than on earth, to serve God rather than wealth, to seek first God's Kingdom.
We purpose in our heart to give, not sparingly, but bountifully; not reluctantly or under compulsion, but joyfully.
We seek to be like our Lord Jesus Christ who, though He was rich, for our sake became poor so that by His poverty, we might become rich.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Evan and Gabi Sayings from 2004
1/04 Evan and Judy Beaird's grandson were in Sunday School talking about Evan's fish tank he and Gabi got for Christmas. We had mentioned to Evan about getting a plycostomus to help eat the algae in the tank. Somehow Evan and Judy's grandson ended up telling their teachers about the "platypus" that Evan was getting that would eat the "allergies" in the tank.
1/04 While I was on a church Women's Retreat, Trey's sister Stephanie asked Gabi, "where is your mommy?" Gabi immediate response was, "She's sleeping with other women."
1/04 When Evan and Gabi are being silly I say, "You ding dong." (We don't use euphamisms for genitals; we call it what it is, so I didn't think anything about it.) One day I called Gabi a ding dong, and she got upset and said, "Mommy, you shouldn't call me that; that's the name of Colten's penis!" (Colten is her "boyfriend" at Lab School.)
1/04 Gabi and her best friend, Annelise, at Lab School are now known as the "kissy girls" because they like to chase the boys and try to "kiss" them. I knew kissing at Lab School is a definite no, no, so I asked Gabi what happens when she and Annelise play "kissy chase." Gabi said that "kissing" the boys means catching them but that after they are kissed, they have to die.
1/04 Gabi has two make believe friends - Audrey and Mashadamberdamber. She sends Mashadamberdamber to time-out a lot because she "bees rude to me."
1/04 Evan wrote me a "love note" all by himself. It said, "Mom you is a honey." I think I'll frame it!
1/04 Out of the blue, Evan comes and jumps in my lap one night after putting on his PJs and says, "Tickle me, Mom, I'm wearing leather!" No, his PJs are NOT made out of leather; we have no idea where he got this.
4/04 Evan and Gabi arguing about whether they were in my knee or my tummy when they were babies. Evan said to Gabi that there were no stairs down to my knee, so they had to have been in my tummy.
4/04 Evan asked me what we used to use for toliet paper "way-back" in the 80s.
4/04 Laura Bivins (Teacher) comes to dinner at Mark and Kelly's house; Evan says, "It's OK, Andrew, it's happened to me before too."
7/04 Gabi's goldfish, Goldie, died; after sobbing for several minutes about Goldie's death, she looks up at me with tearfilled eyes and says, "Mommy, we're not going to eat her are we?"
8/14 Explaining to Evan about anniversaries and his comment about never getting married because he doesn't want a girl hanging all over him all the time and following him around everywhere.
11/4 Evan's class poll on Bush/Kerry election; Evan voted for Bush because a girl in his class told him Kerry wanted to take over the world. Evan yelling out of the car to Susan to vote for Kerry and Andrew countered, no vote for Bush. Later, Evan told Andrew that Kerry was for the poor and Bush was for business and that he shouldn't put business over the poor.
1/04 Evan and Judy Beaird's grandson were in Sunday School talking about Evan's fish tank he and Gabi got for Christmas. We had mentioned to Evan about getting a plycostomus to help eat the algae in the tank. Somehow Evan and Judy's grandson ended up telling their teachers about the "platypus" that Evan was getting that would eat the "allergies" in the tank.
1/04 While I was on a church Women's Retreat, Trey's sister Stephanie asked Gabi, "where is your mommy?" Gabi immediate response was, "She's sleeping with other women."
1/04 When Evan and Gabi are being silly I say, "You ding dong." (We don't use euphamisms for genitals; we call it what it is, so I didn't think anything about it.) One day I called Gabi a ding dong, and she got upset and said, "Mommy, you shouldn't call me that; that's the name of Colten's penis!" (Colten is her "boyfriend" at Lab School.)
1/04 Gabi and her best friend, Annelise, at Lab School are now known as the "kissy girls" because they like to chase the boys and try to "kiss" them. I knew kissing at Lab School is a definite no, no, so I asked Gabi what happens when she and Annelise play "kissy chase." Gabi said that "kissing" the boys means catching them but that after they are kissed, they have to die.
1/04 Gabi has two make believe friends - Audrey and Mashadamberdamber. She sends Mashadamberdamber to time-out a lot because she "bees rude to me."
1/04 Evan wrote me a "love note" all by himself. It said, "Mom you is a honey." I think I'll frame it!
1/04 Out of the blue, Evan comes and jumps in my lap one night after putting on his PJs and says, "Tickle me, Mom, I'm wearing leather!" No, his PJs are NOT made out of leather; we have no idea where he got this.
4/04 Evan and Gabi arguing about whether they were in my knee or my tummy when they were babies. Evan said to Gabi that there were no stairs down to my knee, so they had to have been in my tummy.
4/04 Evan asked me what we used to use for toliet paper "way-back" in the 80s.
4/04 Laura Bivins (Teacher) comes to dinner at Mark and Kelly's house; Evan says, "It's OK, Andrew, it's happened to me before too."
7/04 Gabi's goldfish, Goldie, died; after sobbing for several minutes about Goldie's death, she looks up at me with tearfilled eyes and says, "Mommy, we're not going to eat her are we?"
8/14 Explaining to Evan about anniversaries and his comment about never getting married because he doesn't want a girl hanging all over him all the time and following him around everywhere.
11/4 Evan's class poll on Bush/Kerry election; Evan voted for Bush because a girl in his class told him Kerry wanted to take over the world. Evan yelling out of the car to Susan to vote for Kerry and Andrew countered, no vote for Bush. Later, Evan told Andrew that Kerry was for the poor and Bush was for business and that he shouldn't put business over the poor.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
I have already posted a few times about my personal convictions on the full equality (egalitarianism) of men and women, especially within the Christian community. So, I read with great pleasure an article from the Associated Baptist Press challenging the inconsistencies with the complimentarian philosophy and hermeneutic.
Opinion: Keeping complementarians true to Scripture
By David Gushee
Published September 25, 2007
My professional pilgrimage has been marked by a sometimes painful series of movements between Christian academic institutions falling on opposite sides of the gender issue, or what has come to be called the complementarian/egalitarian divide. This has given me opportunity to observe the dynamics that exist in both types of communities.
I am convinced that all positions of service and leadership in the life of the local church should be open to women or men based entirely on calling and gifts -- an egalitarian view. But in this column I am not going to rehearse the arguments for or against this view.
Instead, motivated by my experiences, I want to ask complementarians -- those who believe that the role of women complements, but is not the same as, the role of men -- to consider a series of questions about the way in which women are treated in your ministry setting.
Much like how the pacifist John Howard Yoder long ago wrote a book intended to keep just-war advocates true to the stated commitments of their own theory, as an egalitarian I want to render a similar service to complementarians. I want to ask you some questions aimed to help you keep the application of your approach as biblical as possible.
I do so with respect for your view and a shared commitment to seeing it lived out in a way that upholds the dignity of women. I also do so knowing that egalitarian communities are also flawed and do not always live out the full meaning of their commitments.
1. Are you successfully communicating to young men the conviction that a complementarian perspective must elevate rather than diminish the dignity of women, and therefore inculcating a moral commitment on their part to act accordingly?
It has been my experience that a context of male leadership, and steady teaching that reinforces it, can sometimes lead young men to a rather boorish attitude toward the women in their midst. While perhaps church leaders are teaching a highly nuanced complementarian view stripped of classic male chauvinism, this is not always successfully transmitted to the next generation. Many young Christian women, and even some sensitive young men, come to associate the complementarian position with outright sexism and male chauvinism, and therefore reject it. How can you prevent this outcome?
2. Are you absolutely clear on which positions of Christian service (you believe) are barred to women?
Complementarians often seem to lack either consensus or precision related to this question. Is it only the senior pastor position that is banned for women? What about co-pastor or pastoral team arrangements? Is it all ordained positions? All positions in which adult men are taught? All ministerial positions? All paid positions? What about seminary or Christian college professors? In what fields?
Doctrinal precision requires clarity on your part about which positions are barred to women, with clear biblical warrants offered. Otherwise, what often remains is a kind of blanket discouragement for women to think of themselves as ministers, or to pursue ministry positions in the church. What can also occur is a wide variety of approaches, even within the same church, about what the Bible actually teaches concerning the role of women in the church.
3. Once you have determined what positions of Christian service are barred to women, you have therefore also determined which positions are permitted. Are you active in encouraging women to pursue the positions that are permitted?
It is possible to take very different approaches related to encouraging the use of women’s gifts from within versions of the complementarian position. For example, in Catholicism women are barred from the priesthood, but in daily and weekly Catholic life they are otherwise highly visible—in teaching, worship, committee work and local service.
Yet some complementarian settings seem to go out of their way to present an entirely male face to the world, all the way down to the ushers handing out the programs and the men taking up the offering. Is there really biblical warrant for excluding women from these and other roles? Are you aggressively looking for ways to affirm and make use of the gifts of women in all roles not barred by your understanding of Scripture?
4. When women occupy positions of church leadership that parallel those of men, are their positions named equally and are the individuals involved treated equally?
Many larger churches have internships for promising young men and sometimes also promising young women. Consider a church that has a female youth ministry intern and a male one. Are they paid the same? Is one called “youth ministry intern” and the other called “youth assistant”? Are they both actively apprenticed by older leaders? Are they given a similar mix of “ministry-type” and "non-ministry type” duties? Are they treated with similar respect for their contributions? In my experience, this is often not the case, with women interns treated more as office assistants than as ministry peers.
Other questions could be asked. Ultimately, I believe these types of questions expose weaknesses in complementarianism that cannot be mended from within that paradigm. These weaknesses contribute to my embrace of the egalitarian view.
-30-
-- David Gushee is distinguished university professor of Christian ethics at Mercer University.
Opinion: Keeping complementarians true to Scripture
By David Gushee
Published September 25, 2007
My professional pilgrimage has been marked by a sometimes painful series of movements between Christian academic institutions falling on opposite sides of the gender issue, or what has come to be called the complementarian/egalitarian divide. This has given me opportunity to observe the dynamics that exist in both types of communities.
I am convinced that all positions of service and leadership in the life of the local church should be open to women or men based entirely on calling and gifts -- an egalitarian view. But in this column I am not going to rehearse the arguments for or against this view.
Instead, motivated by my experiences, I want to ask complementarians -- those who believe that the role of women complements, but is not the same as, the role of men -- to consider a series of questions about the way in which women are treated in your ministry setting.
Much like how the pacifist John Howard Yoder long ago wrote a book intended to keep just-war advocates true to the stated commitments of their own theory, as an egalitarian I want to render a similar service to complementarians. I want to ask you some questions aimed to help you keep the application of your approach as biblical as possible.
I do so with respect for your view and a shared commitment to seeing it lived out in a way that upholds the dignity of women. I also do so knowing that egalitarian communities are also flawed and do not always live out the full meaning of their commitments.
1. Are you successfully communicating to young men the conviction that a complementarian perspective must elevate rather than diminish the dignity of women, and therefore inculcating a moral commitment on their part to act accordingly?
It has been my experience that a context of male leadership, and steady teaching that reinforces it, can sometimes lead young men to a rather boorish attitude toward the women in their midst. While perhaps church leaders are teaching a highly nuanced complementarian view stripped of classic male chauvinism, this is not always successfully transmitted to the next generation. Many young Christian women, and even some sensitive young men, come to associate the complementarian position with outright sexism and male chauvinism, and therefore reject it. How can you prevent this outcome?
2. Are you absolutely clear on which positions of Christian service (you believe) are barred to women?
Complementarians often seem to lack either consensus or precision related to this question. Is it only the senior pastor position that is banned for women? What about co-pastor or pastoral team arrangements? Is it all ordained positions? All positions in which adult men are taught? All ministerial positions? All paid positions? What about seminary or Christian college professors? In what fields?
Doctrinal precision requires clarity on your part about which positions are barred to women, with clear biblical warrants offered. Otherwise, what often remains is a kind of blanket discouragement for women to think of themselves as ministers, or to pursue ministry positions in the church. What can also occur is a wide variety of approaches, even within the same church, about what the Bible actually teaches concerning the role of women in the church.
3. Once you have determined what positions of Christian service are barred to women, you have therefore also determined which positions are permitted. Are you active in encouraging women to pursue the positions that are permitted?
It is possible to take very different approaches related to encouraging the use of women’s gifts from within versions of the complementarian position. For example, in Catholicism women are barred from the priesthood, but in daily and weekly Catholic life they are otherwise highly visible—in teaching, worship, committee work and local service.
Yet some complementarian settings seem to go out of their way to present an entirely male face to the world, all the way down to the ushers handing out the programs and the men taking up the offering. Is there really biblical warrant for excluding women from these and other roles? Are you aggressively looking for ways to affirm and make use of the gifts of women in all roles not barred by your understanding of Scripture?
4. When women occupy positions of church leadership that parallel those of men, are their positions named equally and are the individuals involved treated equally?
Many larger churches have internships for promising young men and sometimes also promising young women. Consider a church that has a female youth ministry intern and a male one. Are they paid the same? Is one called “youth ministry intern” and the other called “youth assistant”? Are they both actively apprenticed by older leaders? Are they given a similar mix of “ministry-type” and "non-ministry type” duties? Are they treated with similar respect for their contributions? In my experience, this is often not the case, with women interns treated more as office assistants than as ministry peers.
Other questions could be asked. Ultimately, I believe these types of questions expose weaknesses in complementarianism that cannot be mended from within that paradigm. These weaknesses contribute to my embrace of the egalitarian view.
-30-
-- David Gushee is distinguished university professor of Christian ethics at Mercer University.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Kid Sayings from 2003
Evan 1/03
Evan sees provocative Victoria Secrets poster in the mall and says, "Mommy, you want to do that to daddy!"
Evan 2/03
I was kissing Evan on his forehead when he looks at me and says, "Mommy, I'm not going to fall in love with you yet . . . not until I get older."
2/03
Michelle at the MC Lab School told me that during lunch time the other day Annelise (Gabi's best friend) asked everyone at their table what they wanted to be when they grow up. Gabi immediately responded by saying, "My mommy. I want to be just like my mommy because she is so strong, so smart, so pretty, etc."
2/03
This morning Evan came running into our bedroom after Trey left. He said, "Mommy, do I need to go to the bathroom?" I said, "I don't know Evan, only you know if you need to go to the bathroom." He said, "Well can't you just peek in there and see if I need to go?" (No, I did not!)
3/1 Gabi
Praying to God - Dear God, you are soooo nice. Tomorrow I'm gonna find you, and hug you, and bring cupcakes to your birthday party. Amen
3/10 Gabi
Praying to God - Dear God, thank you for everything. I'm going to ask you to come live in my heart. And I am going to have a birthday party and bake you some cupcakes. Amen
5/16 Gabi
Evan and Gabi wrestling; Evan hits Gabi in crotch and Gabi says you hurt my iris. Gabi calls wet wipes vulva wipes.
7/12
Evan on trip to New Orleans has disposable camera and tells Nana that he is going to save his last picture to 'waste' on her.
7/12
Gabi shows me her middle finger and says 'look what I can do; I can do like you, mommy, when you show your tall finger to daddy.'
7/12
Gabi - Papa tells Gabi that she has a hole in her shorts and she says its because I am too big for my pants.
7/12
Papa tells Gabi that she can have a prune-filled dounut and she says, "No, that is poisionous."
7/20
Gabi wants to have 100 babies so that everyone in the family will have a baby and she wants to sell the rest.
7/30
Having supper with Martha Grace and Adam Rich, we sit down to eat and Gabi says, "I say great blessings."
8/15
Gabi at Mikel Gulledge's wedding whispers to me that Cameron is soooo handsome. I ask would you like to marry Cameron one day? Gabi says "No, he's not long enough" (meaning he's not tall enough).
8/20
I ask Evan if he's made any new friends at kindergarten and he says that there's "the sweetest girl" named Olivia in his class that's his friend and he says, "You know what mommy, she doesn't even tell the teacher when I kick her during circle time" (apparently he bumps her with his feet because he can't manage to sit still).
8/25
Evan to Nana after Rocky (pet cat) died, "Nana, if you miss petting Rocky, you can pet me."
8/25
Gabi to Nana after Rocky died, "Nana, if you push this button on my elbow, I'll turn into a cat." So Nana pushes her elbow and Gabi crawls around like a cat and lays in Nana's lap.
8/26
Evan to Miss Bivins at Kindergarten after she asked him why he was so quiet today, "My brain is just working up there or something today."
10/4
I came back from my trip to Fort Worth and Evan began to give me a back rub and said, "Mommy, women really like this!"
10/10
Evan scored his first goal at soccer game and told Uncle/Coach Mark, "You can call me Mister Hustle!"
10/22
Evan tries to explain to Gabi what a panty shield is, "It's something you put in your underwear in case you leak pee pee."
10/26
I was getting ready to go help with a wedding shower for my friend Suzanne; Evan wanted to know where at the church we were going to hook up the water hose to "shower" her.
11/15
We went to see the Brother Bear movie and I asked Gabi what her favorite part was. She said she the like the part best "where that guy was naked." (The main character is naked when he is finally turned back into a man after having been transformed into a bear to teach him a lesson.)
12/03
Evan keeps wanting to know what those two "moles" are under my shirt?!
Evan 1/03
Evan sees provocative Victoria Secrets poster in the mall and says, "Mommy, you want to do that to daddy!"
Evan 2/03
I was kissing Evan on his forehead when he looks at me and says, "Mommy, I'm not going to fall in love with you yet . . . not until I get older."
2/03
Michelle at the MC Lab School told me that during lunch time the other day Annelise (Gabi's best friend) asked everyone at their table what they wanted to be when they grow up. Gabi immediately responded by saying, "My mommy. I want to be just like my mommy because she is so strong, so smart, so pretty, etc."
2/03
This morning Evan came running into our bedroom after Trey left. He said, "Mommy, do I need to go to the bathroom?" I said, "I don't know Evan, only you know if you need to go to the bathroom." He said, "Well can't you just peek in there and see if I need to go?" (No, I did not!)
3/1 Gabi
Praying to God - Dear God, you are soooo nice. Tomorrow I'm gonna find you, and hug you, and bring cupcakes to your birthday party. Amen
3/10 Gabi
Praying to God - Dear God, thank you for everything. I'm going to ask you to come live in my heart. And I am going to have a birthday party and bake you some cupcakes. Amen
5/16 Gabi
Evan and Gabi wrestling; Evan hits Gabi in crotch and Gabi says you hurt my iris. Gabi calls wet wipes vulva wipes.
7/12
Evan on trip to New Orleans has disposable camera and tells Nana that he is going to save his last picture to 'waste' on her.
7/12
Gabi shows me her middle finger and says 'look what I can do; I can do like you, mommy, when you show your tall finger to daddy.'
7/12
Gabi - Papa tells Gabi that she has a hole in her shorts and she says its because I am too big for my pants.
7/12
Papa tells Gabi that she can have a prune-filled dounut and she says, "No, that is poisionous."
7/20
Gabi wants to have 100 babies so that everyone in the family will have a baby and she wants to sell the rest.
7/30
Having supper with Martha Grace and Adam Rich, we sit down to eat and Gabi says, "I say great blessings."
8/15
Gabi at Mikel Gulledge's wedding whispers to me that Cameron is soooo handsome. I ask would you like to marry Cameron one day? Gabi says "No, he's not long enough" (meaning he's not tall enough).
8/20
I ask Evan if he's made any new friends at kindergarten and he says that there's "the sweetest girl" named Olivia in his class that's his friend and he says, "You know what mommy, she doesn't even tell the teacher when I kick her during circle time" (apparently he bumps her with his feet because he can't manage to sit still).
8/25
Evan to Nana after Rocky (pet cat) died, "Nana, if you miss petting Rocky, you can pet me."
8/25
Gabi to Nana after Rocky died, "Nana, if you push this button on my elbow, I'll turn into a cat." So Nana pushes her elbow and Gabi crawls around like a cat and lays in Nana's lap.
8/26
Evan to Miss Bivins at Kindergarten after she asked him why he was so quiet today, "My brain is just working up there or something today."
10/4
I came back from my trip to Fort Worth and Evan began to give me a back rub and said, "Mommy, women really like this!"
10/10
Evan scored his first goal at soccer game and told Uncle/Coach Mark, "You can call me Mister Hustle!"
10/22
Evan tries to explain to Gabi what a panty shield is, "It's something you put in your underwear in case you leak pee pee."
10/26
I was getting ready to go help with a wedding shower for my friend Suzanne; Evan wanted to know where at the church we were going to hook up the water hose to "shower" her.
11/15
We went to see the Brother Bear movie and I asked Gabi what her favorite part was. She said she the like the part best "where that guy was naked." (The main character is naked when he is finally turned back into a man after having been transformed into a bear to teach him a lesson.)
12/03
Evan keeps wanting to know what those two "moles" are under my shirt?!
Monday, September 24, 2007
Even though I am growing evermore suspicious of the non-professional status of college athletics, I am proud of OSU coach, Mike Gundy, for standing up for his players. While I am sure that he is not a perfect man, I would be proud to have my children play on teams guided by such principles and scruples.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Kid Sayings from 2002
1/02
Evan - Mommy you're going to have to get a handle on Daddy (when Trey wouldn't let him do something he wanted)
1/22
Gabi - I asked Gabi last night if she liked Dr. Heath (the surgeon who will repair her hernia). She said, "No, she didn't doctor my vulva; she didn't kiss it and make it better." I didn't even attempt to explain that one.
1/28
Evan - in his prayers tonight, he thanked God for toliet paper!!!
2/1
When Evan is going to the bathroom, he tells me to go away because "I need to concentrating"
2/3
Gabi thing when she is going to sleep is to say "you know what Mommy" and if I don't say anything or if I say something else, she says "no, say 'Yeah?'" or "say 'Yeah? louder"
2/10
Evan is sooooo excited about going to North Carolina and going to Talledega (which he knows is in Alabama and not in Mississippi despite an incorrect map that he saw)
2/10
If you tell Gabi, "you're gorgeous" or "you're smart," etc. She gets frustrated and says, "NO, I'M GABI."
2/17
Evan watching olympics medal ceremony where USA won gold, Evan said Mommy, do you know why they sing that song (Star Spangled Banner), its because that plane crashed into that building (9/11)
3/1
Evan was in his bathroom and asked me what "defecate" meant.
4/15
If Gabi is mad at you she calls you a "stinky relative."
4/29
Evan at church after Wednesday night music/mission programs, just pulls down his pants and pees in the grate near the covered sidewalk.
4/29
Evan in clothes store with Nana said, "Nana I've been noticing how dark the sky was this day, and I'm thinking that it is because the planets are realigning."
5/05
Gabi in kitchen with mom and gets down tub of butter. She then starts talking to herself, "Yeah, let's open it." Another voice, "No, I told you no opening the butter." Then she sits down on top of the tub of butter and starts to sing, "Yes, I'm going to my butter potty."
5/13
Evan getting the potty seat stuck on his head.
6/10
Gabi sings Row, Row, Row Your Boat (wipe his butt a dream)
7/29
Evan up in Mantee is eating lunch at one of Mark's church members home. I told Evan to tell Mrs. Crumbey thank you for lunch. He said that he wanted to give her a hundred dollars. I asked him where he was going to get a hundred dollars. He said that when he grows up that he wants to be a tax collector because he wants to wear a suit everyday!!!!
7/1
Gabi says often that when she grows up that she is going to help me "handle" Evan.
7/1
Evan often asks me to show him on the map where the Trade Center/Pentagon were and where Afganistan is.
8/1
I took Evan to the bathroom the other day at Fernado’s and he was pushing his penis down between his legs while he was on the potty. I asked him what he was doing and he said very matter of factly, "I’m using my penis as an arrow to show the poo poo where to go."
10/02 Gabi reading Green Eggs and Ham; "I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM! I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR HEAD OFF AND THROW IT IN THE GARBAGE CAN!"
11/02 Gabi and Evan arguing, Evan says, "I'm gonna mash you like a potato; I'm gonna cut you like a knife." Gabi responds, "I'm gonna kick you like a butt."
11/02 Evan gives Gabi loose coffee beans in Wal-Mart and Gabi calls them "coffee eggs"
11/02 Gabi says that she's the mommy and trys to mother Evan. "Evan, I told you. 1, 2, 3!"
12/02 Cabbage Patch Kids and Evan naming one "Baby Got Back"
12/02 "Mommy, you can't tell me what to do any more; only Daddy can because you're not as specificating as he is." - Evan
1/02
Evan - Mommy you're going to have to get a handle on Daddy (when Trey wouldn't let him do something he wanted)
1/22
Gabi - I asked Gabi last night if she liked Dr. Heath (the surgeon who will repair her hernia). She said, "No, she didn't doctor my vulva; she didn't kiss it and make it better." I didn't even attempt to explain that one.
1/28
Evan - in his prayers tonight, he thanked God for toliet paper!!!
2/1
When Evan is going to the bathroom, he tells me to go away because "I need to concentrating"
2/3
Gabi thing when she is going to sleep is to say "you know what Mommy" and if I don't say anything or if I say something else, she says "no, say 'Yeah?'" or "say 'Yeah? louder"
2/10
Evan is sooooo excited about going to North Carolina and going to Talledega (which he knows is in Alabama and not in Mississippi despite an incorrect map that he saw)
2/10
If you tell Gabi, "you're gorgeous" or "you're smart," etc. She gets frustrated and says, "NO, I'M GABI."
2/17
Evan watching olympics medal ceremony where USA won gold, Evan said Mommy, do you know why they sing that song (Star Spangled Banner), its because that plane crashed into that building (9/11)
3/1
Evan was in his bathroom and asked me what "defecate" meant.
4/15
If Gabi is mad at you she calls you a "stinky relative."
4/29
Evan at church after Wednesday night music/mission programs, just pulls down his pants and pees in the grate near the covered sidewalk.
4/29
Evan in clothes store with Nana said, "Nana I've been noticing how dark the sky was this day, and I'm thinking that it is because the planets are realigning."
5/05
Gabi in kitchen with mom and gets down tub of butter. She then starts talking to herself, "Yeah, let's open it." Another voice, "No, I told you no opening the butter." Then she sits down on top of the tub of butter and starts to sing, "Yes, I'm going to my butter potty."
5/13
Evan getting the potty seat stuck on his head.
6/10
Gabi sings Row, Row, Row Your Boat (wipe his butt a dream)
7/29
Evan up in Mantee is eating lunch at one of Mark's church members home. I told Evan to tell Mrs. Crumbey thank you for lunch. He said that he wanted to give her a hundred dollars. I asked him where he was going to get a hundred dollars. He said that when he grows up that he wants to be a tax collector because he wants to wear a suit everyday!!!!
7/1
Gabi says often that when she grows up that she is going to help me "handle" Evan.
7/1
Evan often asks me to show him on the map where the Trade Center/Pentagon were and where Afganistan is.
8/1
I took Evan to the bathroom the other day at Fernado’s and he was pushing his penis down between his legs while he was on the potty. I asked him what he was doing and he said very matter of factly, "I’m using my penis as an arrow to show the poo poo where to go."
10/02 Gabi reading Green Eggs and Ham; "I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM! I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR HEAD OFF AND THROW IT IN THE GARBAGE CAN!"
11/02 Gabi and Evan arguing, Evan says, "I'm gonna mash you like a potato; I'm gonna cut you like a knife." Gabi responds, "I'm gonna kick you like a butt."
11/02 Evan gives Gabi loose coffee beans in Wal-Mart and Gabi calls them "coffee eggs"
11/02 Gabi says that she's the mommy and trys to mother Evan. "Evan, I told you. 1, 2, 3!"
12/02 Cabbage Patch Kids and Evan naming one "Baby Got Back"
12/02 "Mommy, you can't tell me what to do any more; only Daddy can because you're not as specificating as he is." - Evan
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Once our children began to play around with language, we decided to write down any profound or humorous statements that they made. Here are some good ones from 2001:
Gabi with cellphone in backseat, "Hello, yes, could you throw my brother away in the garbage can?"
Evan gets in the car from preschool and Gabi says, "Hello, Evan Poo-Poo Head."
Evan took his teacher, Ms. Brenda, a gift from the Mustard Seed. She said, "Thank you." I asked Evan if he would like to say, "You're welcome." Evan's response was, "No, Mommy, you should say 'you are welcome' because you did it."
Evan was sharing some of his "goodies" that he got from his school Christmas party with Gabi. She pulled out a cookie that she wanted to eat. Before she got it out of the wrapper, she said, "OOh, we have to say the blessing." She immediately bowed her head, closed her eyes, put the cookie up to her forehead and said, "God is great, God is good. Let us thank him for our food. Amen."
We had been talking about how Jesus was born and they had just listened to a new CD in the car about Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem. A few hours later and after his nap, he said (out of the blue), "Mom, hotels don't have barns!"
Evan asks the difficult questions, "Who helped Mary have Baby Jesus?" "Did they take the manger with them?"
In a concerned voice, Evan declares, "I don't want Santa to bring me presents I want you and daddy to!"
After a bath with Gabi, Evan inquires, "When are you gonna grow a penis or when is mine gonna fall off?!"
Evan had been acting silly in the car so Gabi crossed her arms and stated firmly, "I'm gonna spank that Evan!"
Gabi with cellphone in backseat, "Hello, yes, could you throw my brother away in the garbage can?"
Evan gets in the car from preschool and Gabi says, "Hello, Evan Poo-Poo Head."
Evan took his teacher, Ms. Brenda, a gift from the Mustard Seed. She said, "Thank you." I asked Evan if he would like to say, "You're welcome." Evan's response was, "No, Mommy, you should say 'you are welcome' because you did it."
Evan was sharing some of his "goodies" that he got from his school Christmas party with Gabi. She pulled out a cookie that she wanted to eat. Before she got it out of the wrapper, she said, "OOh, we have to say the blessing." She immediately bowed her head, closed her eyes, put the cookie up to her forehead and said, "God is great, God is good. Let us thank him for our food. Amen."
We had been talking about how Jesus was born and they had just listened to a new CD in the car about Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem. A few hours later and after his nap, he said (out of the blue), "Mom, hotels don't have barns!"
Evan asks the difficult questions, "Who helped Mary have Baby Jesus?" "Did they take the manger with them?"
In a concerned voice, Evan declares, "I don't want Santa to bring me presents I want you and daddy to!"
After a bath with Gabi, Evan inquires, "When are you gonna grow a penis or when is mine gonna fall off?!"
Evan had been acting silly in the car so Gabi crossed her arms and stated firmly, "I'm gonna spank that Evan!"
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
I just heard this song on the radio today...almost snorted my drink out of my nose when I started paying attention to the lyrics. Another great country song, Brad!
"Ticks" by Brad Paisley
everytime you take a sip
in this smoky atmosphere
you press that bottle to your lips
and i wish i was your beer
and in the small there of your back
your jeans are playing peek a boo
id like to see the other half
of your butterfly tattoo
hey that gives me an idea
lets get out of this bar
and drive out into the country
and find a place to park
cause id like to see you out in the moonlight
id like to kiss you way back in the sticks
id like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
and id like to check you for ticks
i know the perfect little path
out in these woods i used to hunt
dont worry babe ive got your back
and ive also got your front
id hate to waste a night like this
ill keep you safe you wait and see
the only thing allowed to crawl all over you
when we get there is me
you know every guy in here tonight
would like to take you home
but ive got way more class than them
and that aint what i want
cause id like to see you out in the moonlight
id like to kiss you way back in the sticks
id like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
and id like to check you for ticks
oooh you never know where one might be
and oooh theres lots of places that are hard to reach
id like to see you out in the moonlight
id like to kiss you way back in the sticks
id like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
and id like to check you for ticks
oh id sure like to check you for ticks
"Ticks" by Brad Paisley
everytime you take a sip
in this smoky atmosphere
you press that bottle to your lips
and i wish i was your beer
and in the small there of your back
your jeans are playing peek a boo
id like to see the other half
of your butterfly tattoo
hey that gives me an idea
lets get out of this bar
and drive out into the country
and find a place to park
cause id like to see you out in the moonlight
id like to kiss you way back in the sticks
id like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
and id like to check you for ticks
i know the perfect little path
out in these woods i used to hunt
dont worry babe ive got your back
and ive also got your front
id hate to waste a night like this
ill keep you safe you wait and see
the only thing allowed to crawl all over you
when we get there is me
you know every guy in here tonight
would like to take you home
but ive got way more class than them
and that aint what i want
cause id like to see you out in the moonlight
id like to kiss you way back in the sticks
id like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
and id like to check you for ticks
oooh you never know where one might be
and oooh theres lots of places that are hard to reach
id like to see you out in the moonlight
id like to kiss you way back in the sticks
id like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
and id like to check you for ticks
oh id sure like to check you for ticks
Monday, September 17, 2007
Another book review from seminary, again from Basic Old Testament with Dr. Ralph Smith. Originally submitted April 23, 1993.
Johnson, L.D. Israel's Wisdom: Learn and Live. Nashville: Broadman Press, 1975. 128pp.
THE AUTHOR
L. D. Johnson was born on February 18, 1916, in Walters, Oklahoma. He received degrees from George Washington University in 1937 and the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in 1940 and 1942. He has served as Pastor of the First Baptist Church in Danville, Virginia, Professor of Religion at the University of Richmond in Virginia, Pastor of the First Baptist Church of Greenville in South Carolina, and Professor of Religion and Chaplin at Furman University in Greenville, South Carolina. He has also been awarded the George Washington Honor Medal of Freedoms Foundation for a newspaper column. His writings include: An Introduction to the Bible, Out of the Whirlwind: The Major Message of Job, and The Morning After Death. Johnson has also authored a weekly newspaper column since 1955. (1)
THE SUMMARY
Chapter One is entitled Origins of Hebrew Wisdom Literature. The author states that often times the "Writings" are neglected in the study of the Old Testament. They represent an important viewpoint to discover meaning in one's life. Wisdom is based upon observation, it announces conclusions reached by the basic study of human existence.
The word for wisdom in Hebrew is transliterated "Hokmah." Wisdom in the Old Testament has a myriad of dimensions. It can be used in a moral sense or in a sense which is purely pragmatic. Many times it is used to denote technical skill. The same word can often mean shrewdness, cunning, or craftiness. Wisdom can also refer to intellect or knowledge. But, the more frequent understanding in the Old Testament is one of moral discernment. Wisdom is in full bloom when moral quality and reverence for YHWH are combined.
Literary and Theological Forms is the title of Chapter Two. This chapter deals with the basic style and format of the Wisdom Literature. While Proverbs, Job, Ecclesiastes and certain Psalms appear to be a diverse group and style, they are all poetry. To the Hebrew and Semitic mind, poetry was the way of the wise. This poetry is not easily recognized by the Occidental mind for Hebrew poetry as accomplished through the number of beats per line and by the use of parallelism. The characteristics include the two-line verse, long didactic poems, riddles, fables and allegories. Wisdom literature incorporates a post-exillic theology and speculative wisdom which uses a plethora of modes toteach the way of Wisdom.
Chapter Three begins the discussion of the book of Proverbs. It is entitled Proverbs: Making the Most of Life. The Proverbs are the primary representative of Hebrew wisdom literature. They are a collection of sayings handed down from generation to generation in order to other guidance for making the most of life. It is mostly concerned with living life every day in a successful manner. The instruction either comes in the form of an imperative command or in the form of an observation.
The Proverbs are divided into four main groups. Group number one encompasses chapters 1-9 and is considered by some to have been the last section to be written down. In this group, Wisdom and Folly are first contrasted as a pure woman and prostitute. Section two (10:1-22:16) bears a title attributing its contents to Solomon. This section is considered by scholars as being the earliest part of the collection, written sometime during the reign of Solomon. Section three (22:17-24:22) is marked by a remarkable similarity to some Egyptian wisdom writing. The material of section four is ascribed to Solomon, yet copied by the men of King Hezekiah. It corners chapters 25-29. Four appendices hold the remaining verses (30:1-31:31).
Chapter Four deals with the Ethical Teachings in the Proverbs. How does one learn right from wrong . . . by learning it. The conscience lets one know there is a right and wrong, but everyone must learn moral discrimination. In the Proverbs, the concept of morality is defined in instructions and admonitions to personal uprightness. There are high standards of sexual morality, for family life, for avoiding personal excess, and for social justice. Proverb's truths are self-evident and to be repeated and practiced.
Proverbs and Prudential Morality is the topic of Chapter Five. The Proverbs present religion as "appropriateness." It espouses the doctrine of the appropriate way and the inappropriate way of life. There is a pragmatic and prudential element but this is not for self-serving interests of man. This is not a book for "how to . . ." nor for "self-improvement." There is no automatic formula for it is more important to see religion in the realm of relationship with both man and God. Proverbs is a book of wise observations of the "good life" and its results.
Chapter Six deals with the Theologizing of Wisdom. Wisdom can be seen as the art of knowing and abiding by the right way. This right way is the way that works because it is the way which God has ordained. Proverbs also seeks to answer the difficult question of "how." The other side of pragmatism and ethics in wisdom literature is theological. It seeks to answer the question of origin and meaning. Through the personification of wisdom one begins to see the personification of the creative work of God. In this context there may be some connection between wisdom and the Logos.
Chapter Seven is entitled Job: Towering Challenge to Prudential Religion. The question asked is, "Shall man serve God because he fears punishment if he does not, and is assured of reward if he does?" Basically, one cannot put the Almighty in a box. Man answers to God, God does not answer man. Job is a forceful protest against a simplistic theology which equates blessing with virtue and suffering with evil. In the end, the book of Job affirms the sovereignty and righteousness of God, while without a doubt contradicts the doctrine that life is fair and everything "evens up" in life.
Chapter Eight cuts to the Heart of the Matter. The issue at hand is the basis for faithful service to God. If a righteousness man suffers, can it be concluded either that God is unfaithful or the man was not righteous after all? Job is suffering and angry with God, yet God continues to pursue. Job is ready to die, yet the worst appears yet to come.
My Redeemer Lives is the title of chapter nine. Through his trials, Job ultimately discovers that he has no right to tell God how He ought to conduct business. His friends and wife continue to hound him and tell him to repent, yet Job will not for he knows he has done nothing wrong. Job is in anguish, but he will not go quietly to the grave. His cries of "unfair" do not get past the roof. Then, in the depths of despair, he sees a light, what if there is more to life. There is comfort but Job is not ready yet.
Chapter Ten is aptly called More Than a Man Can Take. Up to the very end, the words of affirmation and trust were stuck in the throat of Job. He never questioned the existence of God, for of course God exists. His life seems to be a roller-coaster ride, at one moment buoyant and confident waiting for vindication then quickly slipping back into the trough of despondency. Job is experiencing the worst of spiritual crises, he feels the absence of God. Job will soon realize he is not guilty of sin before he suffered but he has become guilty by his rebellion in suffering.
Where We Find God is the title of Chapter Eleven. Job did not find God at the end of an argument, nor did he find God in doctrinal correctness. He did not find God through advice from friends and family, nor did he discover God in sorrow. Job found God only at the point of dire need. Job realized he had to lay aside his own agenda when dealing with God. His problem was not in God's speaking but rather in his own hearing. God spoke to Job through the pain of life. God had used adversity to correct, instruct, and lead Job to repentance. Job's rebellion was seated in his wrong expectations of God. In the whirlwind, God says nothing to Job which he did not already know, yet Job was led to repentance and restoration. Job now finally sees God and is aware of His vary real presence. Life is not fair, and it was never promised to be so, yet God will bring comfort and eventually open the eyes of those who will not see.
Chapter Twelve address Ecclesiastes: the Question of Meaning. The teacher and author of Ecclesiastes does not doubt the existence of God, but in his argument God is surprisingly silent. He did not experience the glory of God. The themes remain more skeptical than confessional. To him life is simple . . . seize the day for tomorrow death comes. In all his striving, the teacher concluded that life has no meaning. He tried living with unrestrained pleasure but that is all in vain. He tried living with money but that too was meaningless. He tried reason and philosophy but in the end the riddle of life was never answered. His life was just a cycle of events with no purpose. His conclusion is simple: discover the art in living.
Chapter Thirteen is Learn the Art of Living. If the writer of Ecclesiastes is correct, how one discovers moral purpose is not found in observation of the world. Meaning is found in life by having all of ones faculties sensitized to the beauty of nature, by making the best of this life. By living life moderately and giving 100%, life can be enjoyed. Above all, by fearing God and keeping His commandments one fulfills one's duty in life. Morality is the right way since it is better way in this present life.
ADDENDUM
L.D. Johnson has written a book which adequately introduces the student reader to both the complexities and simplicities of Hebrew Wisdom literature. His whole book can be summed up in three words: Learn And Live. This is the major purpose of the Hebrew Wisdom literature. Wisdom is practical and logical, not confusing and unnecessarily difficult. It is a commentary on life, or as Johnson states, "This is the way life works." Wisdom literature remains applicable to all people today. It provides specific reasons to live a moral and purposeful life. Indeed, Wisdom literature is not a means to an end, but the experience and insight of Proverbs, Job, and Ecclesiastes do help guide living in this changing and unstable world.
ENDNOTES
(1) "Johnson, L.D." Contemporary Authors (ed. Ann Evory. Detroit, Michigan: Gale Research Company, 1969), 33-36: 443.
Johnson, L.D. Israel's Wisdom: Learn and Live. Nashville: Broadman Press, 1975. 128pp.
THE AUTHOR
L. D. Johnson was born on February 18, 1916, in Walters, Oklahoma. He received degrees from George Washington University in 1937 and the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in 1940 and 1942. He has served as Pastor of the First Baptist Church in Danville, Virginia, Professor of Religion at the University of Richmond in Virginia, Pastor of the First Baptist Church of Greenville in South Carolina, and Professor of Religion and Chaplin at Furman University in Greenville, South Carolina. He has also been awarded the George Washington Honor Medal of Freedoms Foundation for a newspaper column. His writings include: An Introduction to the Bible, Out of the Whirlwind: The Major Message of Job, and The Morning After Death. Johnson has also authored a weekly newspaper column since 1955. (1)
THE SUMMARY
Chapter One is entitled Origins of Hebrew Wisdom Literature. The author states that often times the "Writings" are neglected in the study of the Old Testament. They represent an important viewpoint to discover meaning in one's life. Wisdom is based upon observation, it announces conclusions reached by the basic study of human existence.
The word for wisdom in Hebrew is transliterated "Hokmah." Wisdom in the Old Testament has a myriad of dimensions. It can be used in a moral sense or in a sense which is purely pragmatic. Many times it is used to denote technical skill. The same word can often mean shrewdness, cunning, or craftiness. Wisdom can also refer to intellect or knowledge. But, the more frequent understanding in the Old Testament is one of moral discernment. Wisdom is in full bloom when moral quality and reverence for YHWH are combined.
Literary and Theological Forms is the title of Chapter Two. This chapter deals with the basic style and format of the Wisdom Literature. While Proverbs, Job, Ecclesiastes and certain Psalms appear to be a diverse group and style, they are all poetry. To the Hebrew and Semitic mind, poetry was the way of the wise. This poetry is not easily recognized by the Occidental mind for Hebrew poetry as accomplished through the number of beats per line and by the use of parallelism. The characteristics include the two-line verse, long didactic poems, riddles, fables and allegories. Wisdom literature incorporates a post-exillic theology and speculative wisdom which uses a plethora of modes toteach the way of Wisdom.
Chapter Three begins the discussion of the book of Proverbs. It is entitled Proverbs: Making the Most of Life. The Proverbs are the primary representative of Hebrew wisdom literature. They are a collection of sayings handed down from generation to generation in order to other guidance for making the most of life. It is mostly concerned with living life every day in a successful manner. The instruction either comes in the form of an imperative command or in the form of an observation.
The Proverbs are divided into four main groups. Group number one encompasses chapters 1-9 and is considered by some to have been the last section to be written down. In this group, Wisdom and Folly are first contrasted as a pure woman and prostitute. Section two (10:1-22:16) bears a title attributing its contents to Solomon. This section is considered by scholars as being the earliest part of the collection, written sometime during the reign of Solomon. Section three (22:17-24:22) is marked by a remarkable similarity to some Egyptian wisdom writing. The material of section four is ascribed to Solomon, yet copied by the men of King Hezekiah. It corners chapters 25-29. Four appendices hold the remaining verses (30:1-31:31).
Chapter Four deals with the Ethical Teachings in the Proverbs. How does one learn right from wrong . . . by learning it. The conscience lets one know there is a right and wrong, but everyone must learn moral discrimination. In the Proverbs, the concept of morality is defined in instructions and admonitions to personal uprightness. There are high standards of sexual morality, for family life, for avoiding personal excess, and for social justice. Proverb's truths are self-evident and to be repeated and practiced.
Proverbs and Prudential Morality is the topic of Chapter Five. The Proverbs present religion as "appropriateness." It espouses the doctrine of the appropriate way and the inappropriate way of life. There is a pragmatic and prudential element but this is not for self-serving interests of man. This is not a book for "how to . . ." nor for "self-improvement." There is no automatic formula for it is more important to see religion in the realm of relationship with both man and God. Proverbs is a book of wise observations of the "good life" and its results.
Chapter Six deals with the Theologizing of Wisdom. Wisdom can be seen as the art of knowing and abiding by the right way. This right way is the way that works because it is the way which God has ordained. Proverbs also seeks to answer the difficult question of "how." The other side of pragmatism and ethics in wisdom literature is theological. It seeks to answer the question of origin and meaning. Through the personification of wisdom one begins to see the personification of the creative work of God. In this context there may be some connection between wisdom and the Logos.
Chapter Seven is entitled Job: Towering Challenge to Prudential Religion. The question asked is, "Shall man serve God because he fears punishment if he does not, and is assured of reward if he does?" Basically, one cannot put the Almighty in a box. Man answers to God, God does not answer man. Job is a forceful protest against a simplistic theology which equates blessing with virtue and suffering with evil. In the end, the book of Job affirms the sovereignty and righteousness of God, while without a doubt contradicts the doctrine that life is fair and everything "evens up" in life.
Chapter Eight cuts to the Heart of the Matter. The issue at hand is the basis for faithful service to God. If a righteousness man suffers, can it be concluded either that God is unfaithful or the man was not righteous after all? Job is suffering and angry with God, yet God continues to pursue. Job is ready to die, yet the worst appears yet to come.
My Redeemer Lives is the title of chapter nine. Through his trials, Job ultimately discovers that he has no right to tell God how He ought to conduct business. His friends and wife continue to hound him and tell him to repent, yet Job will not for he knows he has done nothing wrong. Job is in anguish, but he will not go quietly to the grave. His cries of "unfair" do not get past the roof. Then, in the depths of despair, he sees a light, what if there is more to life. There is comfort but Job is not ready yet.
Chapter Ten is aptly called More Than a Man Can Take. Up to the very end, the words of affirmation and trust were stuck in the throat of Job. He never questioned the existence of God, for of course God exists. His life seems to be a roller-coaster ride, at one moment buoyant and confident waiting for vindication then quickly slipping back into the trough of despondency. Job is experiencing the worst of spiritual crises, he feels the absence of God. Job will soon realize he is not guilty of sin before he suffered but he has become guilty by his rebellion in suffering.
Where We Find God is the title of Chapter Eleven. Job did not find God at the end of an argument, nor did he find God in doctrinal correctness. He did not find God through advice from friends and family, nor did he discover God in sorrow. Job found God only at the point of dire need. Job realized he had to lay aside his own agenda when dealing with God. His problem was not in God's speaking but rather in his own hearing. God spoke to Job through the pain of life. God had used adversity to correct, instruct, and lead Job to repentance. Job's rebellion was seated in his wrong expectations of God. In the whirlwind, God says nothing to Job which he did not already know, yet Job was led to repentance and restoration. Job now finally sees God and is aware of His vary real presence. Life is not fair, and it was never promised to be so, yet God will bring comfort and eventually open the eyes of those who will not see.
Chapter Twelve address Ecclesiastes: the Question of Meaning. The teacher and author of Ecclesiastes does not doubt the existence of God, but in his argument God is surprisingly silent. He did not experience the glory of God. The themes remain more skeptical than confessional. To him life is simple . . . seize the day for tomorrow death comes. In all his striving, the teacher concluded that life has no meaning. He tried living with unrestrained pleasure but that is all in vain. He tried living with money but that too was meaningless. He tried reason and philosophy but in the end the riddle of life was never answered. His life was just a cycle of events with no purpose. His conclusion is simple: discover the art in living.
Chapter Thirteen is Learn the Art of Living. If the writer of Ecclesiastes is correct, how one discovers moral purpose is not found in observation of the world. Meaning is found in life by having all of ones faculties sensitized to the beauty of nature, by making the best of this life. By living life moderately and giving 100%, life can be enjoyed. Above all, by fearing God and keeping His commandments one fulfills one's duty in life. Morality is the right way since it is better way in this present life.
ADDENDUM
L.D. Johnson has written a book which adequately introduces the student reader to both the complexities and simplicities of Hebrew Wisdom literature. His whole book can be summed up in three words: Learn And Live. This is the major purpose of the Hebrew Wisdom literature. Wisdom is practical and logical, not confusing and unnecessarily difficult. It is a commentary on life, or as Johnson states, "This is the way life works." Wisdom literature remains applicable to all people today. It provides specific reasons to live a moral and purposeful life. Indeed, Wisdom literature is not a means to an end, but the experience and insight of Proverbs, Job, and Ecclesiastes do help guide living in this changing and unstable world.
ENDNOTES
(1) "Johnson, L.D." Contemporary Authors (ed. Ann Evory. Detroit, Michigan: Gale Research Company, 1969), 33-36: 443.
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