Humm....connecting with God without being religious. There are several others in this series that I will post in the following days.

All Scriptures Are God-Breathed...

Over the years I have noticed that pastors seem to skip over certain areas of the Bible during sermon preparation and worship reading.  Below you will find a few selections that I have come to enjoy.  I might add...rather than detract from my high view of scripture, I find reassurance in the thought that even the Bible has some parts that cause snickering, flush faces, and bemusement.  Finally, I call to mind the unique role that Jesus declared the scriptures play in our lives:  "You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; it is these that testify about Me..." John 5:39.  Grace and peace to you...and a laugh too!

Genesis 34 -- Nobody Messes with My Sister!

1 Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the daughters of the land. 2 When Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he took her and lay with her by force. 3 He was deeply attracted to Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the girl and spoke tenderly to her. 4 So Shechem spoke to his father Hamor, saying, “Get me this young girl for a wife.” 5 Now Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah his daughter; but his sons were with his livestock in the field, so Jacob kept silent until they came in. 6 Then Hamor the father of Shechem went out to Jacob to speak with him. 7 Now the sons of Jacob came in from the field when they heard it; and the men were grieved, and they were very angry because he had done a disgraceful thing in Israel by lying with Jacob’s daughter, for such a thing ought not to be done.
8 But Hamor spoke with them, saying, “The soul of my son Shechem longs for your daughter; please give her to him in marriage. 9 “Intermarry with us; give your daughters to us and take our daughters for yourselves. 10 “Thus you shall live with us, and the land shall be open before you; live and trade in it and acquire property in it.” 11 Shechem also said to her father and to her brothers, “If I find favor in your sight, then I will give whatever you say to me. 12 “Ask me ever so much bridal payment and gift, and I will give according as you say to me; but give me the girl in marriage.”
13 But Jacob’s sons answered Shechem and his father Hamor with deceit, because he had defiled Dinah their sister. 14 They said to them, “We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one who is uncircumcised, for that would be a disgrace to us. 15 “Only on this condition will we consent to you: if you will become like us, in that every male of you be circumcised, 16 then we will give our daughters to you, and we will take your daughters for ourselves, and we will live with you and become one people. 17 “But if you will not listen to us to be circumcised, then we will take our daughter and go.”
18 Now their words seemed reasonable to Hamor and Shechem, Hamor’s son. 19 The young man did not delay to do the thing, because he was delighted with Jacob’s daughter. Now he was more respected than all the household of his father. 20 So Hamor and his son Shechem came to the gate of their city and spoke to the men of their city, saying, 21 “These men are friendly with us; therefore let them live in the land and trade in it, for behold, the land is large enough for them. Let us take their daughters in marriage, and give our daughters to them. 22 “Only on this condition will the men consent to us to live with us, to become one people: that every male among us be circumcised as they are circumcised. 23 “Will not their livestock and their property and all their animals be ours? Only let us consent to them, and they will live with us.” 24 All who went out of the gate of his city listened to Hamor and to his son Shechem, and every male was circumcised, all who went out of the gate of his city.
25 Now it came about on the third day, when they were in pain, that two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, each took his sword and came upon the city unawares, and killed every male. 26 They killed Hamor and his son Shechem with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah from Shechem’s house, and went forth. 27 Jacob’s sons came upon the slain and looted the city, because they had defiled their sister. 28 They took their flocks and their herds and their donkeys, and that which was in the city and that which was in the field; 29 and they captured and looted all their wealth and all their little ones and their wives, even all that was in the houses. 30 Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, “You have brought trouble on me by making me odious among the inhabitants of the land, among the Canaanites and the Perizzites; and my men being few in number, they will gather together against me and attack me and I will be destroyed, I and my household.” 31 But they said, “Should he treat our sister as a harlot?”

Deuteronomy 23:9-14 -- Please Don't Squeeze the Charmin

9 “When you go out as an army against your enemies, you shall keep yourself from every evil thing.
10 “If there is among you any man who is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, then he must go outside the camp; he may not reenter the camp. 11 “But it shall be when evening approaches, he shall bathe himself with water, and at sundown he may reenter the camp.
12 “You shall also have a place outside the camp and go out there, 13 and you shall have a spade among your tools, and it shall be when you sit down outside, you shall dig with it and shall turn to cover up your excrement. 14 “Since the LORD your God walks in the midst of your camp to deliver you and to defeat your enemies before you, therefore your camp must be holy; and He must not see anything indecent among you or He will turn away from you.

Joshua 15:17-19 (New English Bible) -- Such a Charming Girl

17 Othniel, son of Caleb's brother Kenaz, captured it, and Caleb gave him his daughter Achsah.  18 When she came to him, he incited her to ask her father for a piece of land.  19 As she sat on the ass, she broke wind, and Caleb asked her, "What did you mean by that?"  she replied, "I want a favour from you.  You have put me in this dry Negeb; you must give me pools of water as well."  So Caleb gave her the upper pool and the lower pool.

Song of Solomon 8:8-10 -- Life Before the WonderBra

8 “We have a little sister,
And she has no breasts;
What shall we do for our sister
On the day when she is spoken for?
9 “If she is a wall,
We will build on her a battlement of silver;
But if she is a door,
We will barricade her with planks of cedar.”
10 “I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers;
Then I became in his eyes as one who finds peace.

Ezekiel 23 -- Girls Gone Wild!

1 The word of the LORD came to me: 2 "Son of man, there were two women, daughters of the same mother. 3 They became prostitutes in Egypt, engaging in prostitution from their youth. In that land their breasts were fondled and their virgin bosoms caressed. 4 The older was named Oholah, and her sister was Oholibah. They were mine and gave birth to sons and daughters. Oholah is Samaria, and Oholibah is Jerusalem.

5 "Oholah engaged in prostitution while she was still mine; and she lusted after her lovers, the Assyrians-warriors 6 clothed in blue, governors and commanders, all of them handsome young men, and mounted horsemen. 7 She gave herself as a prostitute to all the elite of the Assyrians and defiled herself with all the idols of everyone she lusted after. 8 She did not give up the prostitution she began in Egypt, when during her youth men slept with her, caressed her virgin bosom and poured out their lust upon her.

9 "Therefore I handed her over to her lovers, the Assyrians, for whom she lusted. 10 They stripped her naked, took away her sons and daughters and killed her with the sword. She became a byword among women, and punishment was inflicted on her.

11 "Her sister Oholibah saw this, yet in her lust and prostitution she was more depraved than her sister. 12 She too lusted after the Assyrians—governors and commanders, warriors in full dress, mounted horsemen, all handsome young men. 13 I saw that she too defiled herself; both of them went the same way.

14 "But she carried her prostitution still further. She saw men portrayed on a wall, figures of Chaldeans ^[a] portrayed in red, 15 with belts around their waists and flowing turbans on their heads; all of them looked like Babylonian chariot officers, natives of Chaldea. ^[b] 16 As soon as she saw them, she lusted after them and sent messengers to them in Chaldea. 17 Then the Babylonians came to her, to the bed of love, and in their lust they defiled her. After she had been defiled by them, she turned away from them in disgust. 18 When she carried on her prostitution openly and exposed her nakedness, I turned away from her in disgust, just as I had turned away from her sister. 19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. 21 So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled. ^[c]

22 "Therefore, Oholibah, this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I will stir up your lovers against you, those you turned away from in disgust, and I will bring them against you from every side- 23 the Babylonians and all the Chaldeans, the men of Pekod and Shoa and Koa, and all the Assyrians with them, handsome young men, all of them governors and commanders, chariot officers and men of high rank, all mounted on horses. 24 They will come against you with weapons, ^[d] chariots and wagons and with a throng of people; they will take up positions against you on every side with large and small shields and with helmets. I will turn you over to them for punishment, and they will punish you according to their standards. 25 I will direct my jealous anger against you, and they will deal with you in fury. They will cut off your noses and your ears, and those of you who are left will fall by the sword. They will take away your sons and daughters, and those of you who are left will be consumed by fire. 26 They will also strip you of your clothes and take your fine jewelry. 27 So I will put a stop to the lewdness and prostitution you began in Egypt. You will not look on these things with longing or remember Egypt anymore.

28 "For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I am about to hand you over to those you hate, to those you turned away from in disgust. 29 They will deal with you in hatred and take away everything you have worked for. They will leave you naked and bare, and the shame of your prostitution will be exposed. Your lewdness and promiscuity 30 have brought this upon you, because you lusted after the nations and defiled yourself with their idols. 31 You have gone the way of your sister; so I will put her cup into your hand.

32 "This is what the Sovereign LORD says:
       "You will drink your sister's cup,
       a cup large and deep;
       it will bring scorn and derision,
       for it holds so much.

33 You will be filled with drunkenness and sorrow,
       the cup of ruin and desolation,
       the cup of your sister Samaria.

34 You will drink it and drain it dry;
       you will dash it to pieces
       and tear your breasts.
      I have spoken, declares the Sovereign LORD.

35 "Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says: Since you have forgotten me and thrust me behind your back, you must bear the consequences of your lewdness and prostitution."

36 The LORD said to me: "Son of man, will you judge Oholah and Oholibah? Then confront them with their detestable practices, 37 for they have committed adultery and blood is on their hands. They committed adultery with their idols; they even sacrificed their children, whom they bore to me, ^[e] as food for them. 38 They have also done this to me: At that same time they defiled my sanctuary and desecrated my Sabbaths. 39 On the very day they sacrificed their children to their idols, they entered my sanctuary and desecrated it. That is what they did in my house.

40 "They even sent messengers for men who came from far away, and when they arrived you bathed yourself for them, painted your eyes and put on your jewelry. 41 You sat on an elegant couch, with a table spread before it on which you had placed the incense and oil that belonged to me.

42 "The noise of a carefree crowd was around her; Sabeans ^[f] were brought from the desert along with men from the rabble, and they put bracelets on the arms of the woman and her sister and beautiful crowns on their heads. 43 Then I said about the one worn out by adultery, 'Now let them use her as a prostitute, for that is all she is.' 44 And they slept with her. As men sleep with a prostitute, so they slept with those lewd women, Oholah and Oholibah. 45 But righteous men will sentence them to the punishment of women who commit adultery and shed blood, because they are adulterous and blood is on their hands.

46 "This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Bring a mob against them and give them over to terror and plunder. 47 The mob will stone them and cut them down with their swords; they will kill their sons and daughters and burn down their houses.

48 "So I will put an end to lewdness in the land, that all women may take warning and not imitate you. 49 You will suffer the penalty for your lewdness and bear the consequences of your sins of idolatry. Then you will know that I am the Sovereign LORD."

This is the Word of the Lord...Thanks be to God!

A song for you to get stuck in your head. I love late 70's and early 80's rock and roll music!

How many feet can our President keep in his mouth at one time...the world may never know!?!

The first time I saw this sketch I laughed so hard that I stopped breathing and almost passed-out. During my first year of seminary, Missy and I lived in a seminary provided apartment. Most of our neighbors were Korean, and while they were some of the most hospitable people around, their choice of cuisine regularly left our apartment in olfactory distress...notably when kimchee was being prepared. I do not think that Steve Carell was acting!?!

Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes

You know you have made it to the top when The Onion satirizes you!

I am blessed to have one of the most thoughtful and meek persons that I have met in my life journeys as my pastor. Stan Wilson is pastor of Northside Baptist Church in Clinton, Mississippi. I see the Gospel in these words...and want you to share in them too!

Another political season is heating up, and I have been drawn to Ephesians. It’s a strange place to be drawn, perhaps, but give it a try.

Read 2:14-22, and notice the profound and dramatic language with which Paul describes the new social body which has been formed in Christ. He calls us "one new humanity."

Paul is writing about a small, insignificant social organization, and he goes on in 3:7-11 boldly to claim that this church is a witness to God’s wisdom before all powers and princes. Our peace and unity is our witness before the powers of this world. Our life together prefigures God’s will for all human communities. In other words our unity matters. Our common life is important. This is where God is stirring up a new redeemed social body.

So, I’ve been reflecting on this, and then at the same time I’ve been hearing more and more about this upcoming election. It’s very important, I know, and a great deal is at stake. But I am hoping that here at Northside we can begin to see how terribly important our body is. I am hoping that we can begin to understand what Paul calls a great mystery - the significance of our peace. (See Ephesians 3:10)

One of the interesting things about this otherwise ordinary church is that we have a pretty good mix of all political stripes, and that’s actually pretty unusual. It’s pretty refreshing. It can also be frightening because the bitterness, division and distrust which mark our national life can easily come to mark our own church, and we have to keep that from happening. We are called to witness to the powers and princes, not to let their bitterness infect us.

So, allow me to take a stab at a few concrete suggestions for how to keep the upcoming election from dividing our mixed up church. See if these make sense and feel free to make more suggestions to me.

1. When referring to a candidate or official, always use their title. "President Bush" is a respectful way to refer to our President. "Bush" is not. Likewise "Senator Clinton" is more respectful than "Hillary."

2. When possible, let’s go out of our way to commend each other for being involved. Let us commend Republicans who believe in personal responsibility, and work for civic virtue and the sanctity of human life. Let us commend Democrats for caring about poverty and those who labor. Let us commend the independents who keep everyone honest. There are a lot of politically active people in this church, and the people I know generally act out of deep Christian conviction. Let’s find out what those convictions are and celebrate them.

3. Come to our business meetings and try to practice the art (because it is an art) of public decision making led by the Spirit. Think of every committee and every meeting as an opportunity to practice a different kind of politics in the midst of a divided world.

4. Pray for your political adversaries. Pray that God would help them be truthful. Pray that God would keep you from bitterness. Pray for understanding.

5. Hold your own candidates accountable for telling the truth.

6. Remember that for many people political persuasion is a deeply private, intimate matter. Therefore, a considerable amount of trust is required before a true conversation can begin. Work hard on building that trust for a long time.

7. Let’s not ask ourselves too quickly what is the social position of our church on a particular issue. Instead, let’s challenge our church to be a source of light, hope, relief, shelter and welcome to the world. Holding a social position is much easier than being a social alternative.

Stan Wilson

"The baptism of Jesus initiated his public ministry, which led him to the cross. For individual Christians, baptism is our call to the community of the church, which often provides us with crosses of our own to bear. Yet it is together, as church, that we are meant to peace in a cruel and violent world and bring a message of hope in the face of despair. Whatever the worldly powers may be -- Roman rulers or contemporary dictators, corrupt lobbyists, arms traders and war profiteers -- Christians are called to witness to another, greater power. Our baptisms mark us for this purpose."

-- Kathleen Norris

I recently stumbled across exerpts from the diary of Gustave Gilbert, a German-speaking intelligence officer and psychologist who was granted access by the Allies to the prisoners held in during the Nuremberg trials. The exerpt below was part of a conversation that Gilbert held with Hermann Goering on the evening of April 18, 1946:

"But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship."

"There is one difference," I pointed out. "In a democracy the people have some say in the matter through their elected representatives, and in the United States only Congress can declare wars."

"Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

I wonder if I am only willing to entertain the painful truth of these words only after the Iraq war drums have been muted...or were there prophets among us that I simply chose to ignore?!

A post-script to all of us who struggle to follow Christ and live as citizens of the United States of America: Our only Lord is Jesus...there are no other allegiances in comparison. We must follow in the Way of Christ if we are to be called his followers...

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:2-10

Help me be this kind of person, please!

Invictus Maneo

 

I remain unconquered!

Jeff Dunham Best Damn Sports Show

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Some more funny clips from Jeff Dunham...this time with Walter!

I actually thought this guy was for real for about five minutes...but then I thought, how could such a moron know how to work a camera and post it on YouTube?! Thanks for sharing such an affirming testimony, Chris! I think we went to school with a few characters like Rev. Charles!

I like to play Boomshine..do you?

 

my dad helped me with the link...just clik on the picture to play.

I am looking for a yeasty, surreptitious, and pesky Gospel that is practiced among a people who live freely, love without reservation, and fully understand their obligations of their redemption. Until I find it among others, I will try to practice it within myself.

“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?

And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you?

You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

-- Matthew 6:33

Evan and I were listening to the radio this evening and "Don't Fear the Reaper" by the Blue Oyster Cult came on. I began to laugh and Evan wanted to know why?! So I told him, "I gotta fever...and the only prescription is more cowbell!"

As you can see, my children have begun to post on this blog. I will make a real effort to not moderate their entries so that we can see the progression of their thoughts and abilities. I am very proud of both Evan and Gabi. I am honored and humbled to be their daddy.

This is a flag I made at my Microsoft. art my dad said I liked Robotics but he didn't say art! This is a flag I made just now.This is my First post I have ever made! I make lots of art all the time but this is the First flag.I made this flag when I was thinking of IWO Jima.My name is Evan and I am 9. bye.

This is the opening to the Naruto show on Cartoon Network.

Here are the lyrics for you to sing along:

Tooku de kikoeru koe wo hitoriHitori mata hitori de chi agaru toushiKurikaesu dake no fudan dooriItsu ga iku jumbi ii are you ready?Karadajuu fuu no wa shinzou niHageshiku chi narase yo stopingTaeru tsuki wo ukasu call meKawarisugiru ga nuki ka storyCome on everybody stand upAgero kyou ichiban no jikan daMe ni mo tomoran no speed wo handaDare mo nobinattori ko kanba yeahCome on everybody hands upMata ashita no heroes wa comebackTsuujou kazoe hibi wo countdownLet's go, 3-2-1 make some noiseHey yo mou basho nori tsuku wa kakugo deshoNankai korondatte tatsu keredoNade aida naze kami hito e no seishoIrikunda kanjou kizuki ageta deshoMochiagaru kansei ga yuuki to naruTashiagareba ima kurushimi tomonauSore demo saikou wa kitto aruSubete sarau to shouri no kanseiEverybody stand upAgero kyou ichiban no jikan daMe ni mo tomoran no speed wo handaDare mo nobinattori ko kanba yeahCome on everybody hands upMata ashita no heroes wa comebackTsuujou kazoe hibi wo countdownLet's go, 3-2-1 make some noise

Gabi Jones Joins Truly Jones Blog Team

Gabi Jones has joined the Truly Jones blogging team.  Gabi will be our first investigative blogger in the areas of Japanese culture (namely, the cultural phenomenon known as Naruto) and Hello Kitty sightings around the globe.

Evan Jones Joins Writing Staff

The Truly Jones Blog would like to welcome Evan Jones to the writing staff.  He will be serving as special correspondent for robotics and marine life.