This is so sweet…I wish I would have done something similar when I was young and crazy…as opposed to older and insane. When I was in college a group of guys made the freshmen play human space invaders by hurling water balloons and shaving cream bombs from the second and third floors of the dorm while the plebs slowly moved back and forth below, grunting a steady cadence.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
I guess I am just a nerd, but I find these warning labels totally hilarious...
Important Notice to Purchasers:
The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot be Guaranteed.
Caution:
The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.
Advisory:
There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Known as 'Tunneling,' This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.
Public Notice as Required by Law:
Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe.
New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer:
The Manufacturer May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are 'Rolled Up' into Such a Small 'Area' That They Cannot Be Detected.
Health Warning:
Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User.
Warning:
This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.
Handle with Extreme Care:
This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles per Hour.
Read This Before Opening Package:
According to Certain Suggested Versions of a Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting This Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.
Note:
Important Notice to Purchasers:
The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot be Guaranteed.
Caution:
The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.
Advisory:
There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Known as 'Tunneling,' This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.
Public Notice as Required by Law:
Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe.
New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer:
The Manufacturer May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are 'Rolled Up' into Such a Small 'Area' That They Cannot Be Detected.
Health Warning:
Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User.
Warning:
This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.
Handle with Extreme Care:
This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles per Hour.
Read This Before Opening Package:
According to Certain Suggested Versions of a Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting This Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.
Note:
The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held Together by a 'Gluing' Force About Which Little Is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed.
Please Note:
Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.
Please Note:
Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.
Warning:
This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.
Consumer Notice:
Because of the 'Uncertainty Principle,' It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.
This is a 100% Matter product:
In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result.
Attention:
Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer Is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.
Component Equivalency Notice:
The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.
This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.
Consumer Notice:
Because of the 'Uncertainty Principle,' It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.
This is a 100% Matter product:
In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result.
Attention:
Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer Is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.
Component Equivalency Notice:
The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Bible Stories by Kids
We all need a good laugh and these are enjoyable. A book titled Little Wonders by Mary Hollingsworth has stories concerning children. At the end of each year, we give the children pencils and paper and ask them to chronicle what they have learned in Bible study. This assignment never fails to elicit some intriguing responses. In case you're a little foggy on your biblical history, let our junior church students help you with this complete overview of the Bible, compiled from their essays:
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, "The Lord thy God is one," but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, "Give me a light!" and someone did. Then God made the world. He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars. Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then He gave them His top ten Commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's bottom (the Bible uses a bad word for bottom that I'm not supposed to say. But my Dad uses it sometimes when he talks about the President). Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor they father and they mother.
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town. After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot.
He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me. After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, "Close the door! Were you born in a barn" It would be nice to say, "As a matter of fact, I was.").
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him. Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
We all need a good laugh and these are enjoyable. A book titled Little Wonders by Mary Hollingsworth has stories concerning children. At the end of each year, we give the children pencils and paper and ask them to chronicle what they have learned in Bible study. This assignment never fails to elicit some intriguing responses. In case you're a little foggy on your biblical history, let our junior church students help you with this complete overview of the Bible, compiled from their essays:
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, "The Lord thy God is one," but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, "Give me a light!" and someone did. Then God made the world. He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars. Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then He gave them His top ten Commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's bottom (the Bible uses a bad word for bottom that I'm not supposed to say. But my Dad uses it sometimes when he talks about the President). Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor they father and they mother.
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town. After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot.
He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me. After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, "Close the door! Were you born in a barn" It would be nice to say, "As a matter of fact, I was.").
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him. Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
Monday, October 22, 2007
A question to myself...How has Katrina affected your life personally and professionally?
Hurricane Katrina profoundly affected my understanding of community. We are deeply interconnected to each other and to our environment. We need each other and rely on each other whether we want to admit it or not. During the storm and in its aftermath, neighbors took care of each other and complete strangers became good Samaritans. But I fear that we are drifting apart once again, fatigued by the need and frustrated by different visions of justice.
Our world, and especially our culture, does not seem to comprehend and appreciate community. While I cannot offer a concrete definition, I am referring to community that is defined by shared goals, shared hopes, shared needs, and shared resources. I am not talking about vapid utopianism or the nightmare of socialism; however, I am suggesting a deliberate effort to open ourselves to each other and recognition that the accomplishments of one are built upon the efforts of us all. We stand in such profound need of each other; yet continue to live as if everything we have and need can be provided by our hands alone?!
Katrina helped me realize that real community is rough around the edges, often difficult, and usually quite messy…but it is the only way for us to survive or, more importantly, for us to truly thrive. I pray a time will come when complete devastation of the Gulf Coast will not be what is required for us to be a community united.
Hurricane Katrina profoundly affected my understanding of community. We are deeply interconnected to each other and to our environment. We need each other and rely on each other whether we want to admit it or not. During the storm and in its aftermath, neighbors took care of each other and complete strangers became good Samaritans. But I fear that we are drifting apart once again, fatigued by the need and frustrated by different visions of justice.
Our world, and especially our culture, does not seem to comprehend and appreciate community. While I cannot offer a concrete definition, I am referring to community that is defined by shared goals, shared hopes, shared needs, and shared resources. I am not talking about vapid utopianism or the nightmare of socialism; however, I am suggesting a deliberate effort to open ourselves to each other and recognition that the accomplishments of one are built upon the efforts of us all. We stand in such profound need of each other; yet continue to live as if everything we have and need can be provided by our hands alone?!
Katrina helped me realize that real community is rough around the edges, often difficult, and usually quite messy…but it is the only way for us to survive or, more importantly, for us to truly thrive. I pray a time will come when complete devastation of the Gulf Coast will not be what is required for us to be a community united.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
A friend of mine, Lisa O'Sullivan -- CEO of the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Wyoming, sent this to me. I usually do not respond to overly sweet and sappy stories, but this one really got to me for some reason:
This is one of the kindest things I've ever experienced. I have no way to know who sent it, but there is a kind soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service.
Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:
Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick. I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love, Meredith.
We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office.
A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter Yet. I told her that I thought He had. Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies.' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:
Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away. Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays In your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to rmember Abbey by. Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I am wherever there is love.
Love, God
Thursday, October 18, 2007
A question to myself...What would people be surprised to learn about you?
I enjoy 70’s music…especially Funk. Something wants to move down deep inside of me when The Gap Band, Rose Royce, Kool and the Gang, The Dazz Band, and The Ohio Players start to “put the freak on!” The rest, I would rather keep between me and God!
I enjoy 70’s music…especially Funk. Something wants to move down deep inside of me when The Gap Band, Rose Royce, Kool and the Gang, The Dazz Band, and The Ohio Players start to “put the freak on!” The rest, I would rather keep between me and God!
A question to myself...What do you do for fun and why?
I enjoy tooling around in the garden. Building a raised bed, hoeing a row, and watching seed turn into fruit (only to have the bugs, birds, and raccoons eat everything) teaches me to be patient but always watching for first fruits. I enjoy playing PS2 with my son and playing house with my daughter. The life lessons my kids teach me are powerful and profound. Finally, I am on a quest to find the best chicken fried steak. So far in all of my journeys, the best is currently found in Quanah, Texas at the Medicine Mound Depot Restaurant on US 287.
Oh yeah...I also like to blog!
I enjoy tooling around in the garden. Building a raised bed, hoeing a row, and watching seed turn into fruit (only to have the bugs, birds, and raccoons eat everything) teaches me to be patient but always watching for first fruits. I enjoy playing PS2 with my son and playing house with my daughter. The life lessons my kids teach me are powerful and profound. Finally, I am on a quest to find the best chicken fried steak. So far in all of my journeys, the best is currently found in Quanah, Texas at the Medicine Mound Depot Restaurant on US 287.
Oh yeah...I also like to blog!
A question to myself... If you could be someone/something else for a day, who/what would it be and why?
I would want to be Robin Williams and Wayne Brady! Robin Williams astounds me with his wit, intelligence, and limitless humor. Wayne Brady is remarkable in his ability to turn random bits of information into intelligent song, dance, and improvisation. Both men use their intelligence and abilities in service of the human soul by creating laughter. I love to laugh and have been best restored through humor. If I could be like Robin and Wayne for a day, then perhaps I could lead others to life-restoring springs of laughter and drink deeply with them…until the water squirts out of our noses!
I would want to be Robin Williams and Wayne Brady! Robin Williams astounds me with his wit, intelligence, and limitless humor. Wayne Brady is remarkable in his ability to turn random bits of information into intelligent song, dance, and improvisation. Both men use their intelligence and abilities in service of the human soul by creating laughter. I love to laugh and have been best restored through humor. If I could be like Robin and Wayne for a day, then perhaps I could lead others to life-restoring springs of laughter and drink deeply with them…until the water squirts out of our noses!
A question to myself...If you had chosen a different career path, what would it have been and why?
At many different times, I have wondered if I should have been a physician. Science and mathematics were my forte in high school. I deeply enjoy learning about how the body works and the interconnected nature of our body, spirit, and mind. Perhaps medicine (science) and ministry (faith) are two sides of the same coin, rather than mutually exclusive interpretations of the human condition.
At many different times, I have wondered if I should have been a physician. Science and mathematics were my forte in high school. I deeply enjoy learning about how the body works and the interconnected nature of our body, spirit, and mind. Perhaps medicine (science) and ministry (faith) are two sides of the same coin, rather than mutually exclusive interpretations of the human condition.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
A question to myself...Describe your best/worst character traits and how you have adapted them to your career/personal life.
I have very high expectations for myself and others. I believe that each of us is endowed with great potential and must prove ourselves to be faithful stewards of our gifts and abilities. I believe that we owe everyone the best that we can offer at any particular time, especially our employer. I believe that we should provoke one another to be the best and expect the best from everyone with whom we come into contact. That particular trait, when applied correctly, produces high quality and abundant fruit; however, when applied unrealistically, it produces frustration, lays the groundwork for burnout, and treats people as a means to an end.
I also believe in second chances. I believe that I must be gracious and forgiving to others since I have been treated graciously and have been forgiven. Being gracious and forgiving does not make excuses for poor performance; rather, it forces us alongside each other into a role of mutual support rather than adversarial criticism. That particular trait, when applied correctly, produces a strong team and redeems what is best; however, when applied incorrectly, it enables excuses, degrades performance, and tickles my need to be a people pleaser.
I have very high expectations for myself and others. I believe that each of us is endowed with great potential and must prove ourselves to be faithful stewards of our gifts and abilities. I believe that we owe everyone the best that we can offer at any particular time, especially our employer. I believe that we should provoke one another to be the best and expect the best from everyone with whom we come into contact. That particular trait, when applied correctly, produces high quality and abundant fruit; however, when applied unrealistically, it produces frustration, lays the groundwork for burnout, and treats people as a means to an end.
I also believe in second chances. I believe that I must be gracious and forgiving to others since I have been treated graciously and have been forgiven. Being gracious and forgiving does not make excuses for poor performance; rather, it forces us alongside each other into a role of mutual support rather than adversarial criticism. That particular trait, when applied correctly, produces a strong team and redeems what is best; however, when applied incorrectly, it enables excuses, degrades performance, and tickles my need to be a people pleaser.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
A question for myself...What is one change you would like to see made in your profession?
The nonprofit sector is a wonderful field for vocational service. The good that we do truly sets our society apart from all others. Voluntary and legislative philanthropy, rather than large scale socialistic government services, enables people to do greater good. However, in as much as we serve those in need, there are those among us who prey on others under the guise of ministry and charity. I would like to see a strengthening of the integrity and character necessary to work within the nonprofit sector, but without overly burdensome government intervention. The nonprofit sector must adopt a higher standard and more stringent ethos that would cause any charlatan to run from the light. At least in the State of Mississippi, we have a Secretary of State who champions the role of nonprofits and holds them strictly accountable at the same time.
I have been honored to be a board member of the Mississippi Center for Nonprofits for the past several years. Our organization exists to strengthen the capacity of nonprofits to serve the people and communities of Mississippi. Several years ago, we embarked on a plan to establish principles and practices of nonprofit management for charities in Mississippi, and I was asked to help lead the process. Through a collaborative effort expertly facilitated by Mark McCrary, the MCNP Executive Director, we have listened to professionals in the nonprofit and for-profit business communities and formulated recommended practices in the areas of Planning and Purpose, Governance, Human Resources, Financial Management, Transparency and Accountability, Fundraising, Public Policy and Advocacy Communications, Information and Technology, Strategic Alliances, and Evaluation. Our goal was met to have the Principles and Practices of Nonprofit Management Excellence distributed at our annual conference on April 17, 2007.
The nonprofit sector is a wonderful field for vocational service. The good that we do truly sets our society apart from all others. Voluntary and legislative philanthropy, rather than large scale socialistic government services, enables people to do greater good. However, in as much as we serve those in need, there are those among us who prey on others under the guise of ministry and charity. I would like to see a strengthening of the integrity and character necessary to work within the nonprofit sector, but without overly burdensome government intervention. The nonprofit sector must adopt a higher standard and more stringent ethos that would cause any charlatan to run from the light. At least in the State of Mississippi, we have a Secretary of State who champions the role of nonprofits and holds them strictly accountable at the same time.
I have been honored to be a board member of the Mississippi Center for Nonprofits for the past several years. Our organization exists to strengthen the capacity of nonprofits to serve the people and communities of Mississippi. Several years ago, we embarked on a plan to establish principles and practices of nonprofit management for charities in Mississippi, and I was asked to help lead the process. Through a collaborative effort expertly facilitated by Mark McCrary, the MCNP Executive Director, we have listened to professionals in the nonprofit and for-profit business communities and formulated recommended practices in the areas of Planning and Purpose, Governance, Human Resources, Financial Management, Transparency and Accountability, Fundraising, Public Policy and Advocacy Communications, Information and Technology, Strategic Alliances, and Evaluation. Our goal was met to have the Principles and Practices of Nonprofit Management Excellence distributed at our annual conference on April 17, 2007.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
A question to myself...Why did you choose your career path?
I was raised in a family dedicated to service and ministry: My mother is a nurse and my father is a minister and ethicist. As a teenager I was called into ministry by my church and licensed to preach soon after. I entered college and seminary seeking clarification in my calling; but, the only clear calling I have ever received in my life was to get equipped for service and follow the teachings of Jesus as I serve. I am not sure if I ever chose my career path; but, I continue to grow into an understanding of service as a career. I am starting to think that service is a calling into limitless careers. Paralegal, accountant, nurse, teacher, salesman, politician, administrator, programmer, receptionist, et cetera can all be careers of service and ministry if understood correctly.
I was raised in a family dedicated to service and ministry: My mother is a nurse and my father is a minister and ethicist. As a teenager I was called into ministry by my church and licensed to preach soon after. I entered college and seminary seeking clarification in my calling; but, the only clear calling I have ever received in my life was to get equipped for service and follow the teachings of Jesus as I serve. I am not sure if I ever chose my career path; but, I continue to grow into an understanding of service as a career. I am starting to think that service is a calling into limitless careers. Paralegal, accountant, nurse, teacher, salesman, politician, administrator, programmer, receptionist, et cetera can all be careers of service and ministry if understood correctly.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
A question to myself...Who/what has been the driving force/motivation in your life?
Without hesitation the most significant driving force in my life has been the life and teachings of Jesus. However, I will not breakout into singing and testimony because following in the way of Christ has created more questions than answers. Like the bumper stickers purport, I suppose that Jesus is the answer; but, more realistically I believe that he is the problem. His gospel has created a huge tension in my life. Jesus taught that our God is a Father who loves us passionately and forgives us freely, but God also demands justice and seems inclined towards the poor, the sick, the hungry, the dying, the homeless, the depressed, and everyone or everything else that makes me uncomfortable when they or it will not easily go away.
The scandal of the cross makes my life uncomfortable. My chosen model in faith and practice is of a man who emptied himself of all power and authority and became a servant of all humanity. Every decision I have to make in my professional life is burdened by the belief that I should follow his example and his teachings. I do not have it all figured out…and I really doubt I ever will. In the mean time, I will try to be the best CEO of the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Mississippi that I can be by granting wishes to children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy…that is enough to keep me motivated for now!
Without hesitation the most significant driving force in my life has been the life and teachings of Jesus. However, I will not breakout into singing and testimony because following in the way of Christ has created more questions than answers. Like the bumper stickers purport, I suppose that Jesus is the answer; but, more realistically I believe that he is the problem. His gospel has created a huge tension in my life. Jesus taught that our God is a Father who loves us passionately and forgives us freely, but God also demands justice and seems inclined towards the poor, the sick, the hungry, the dying, the homeless, the depressed, and everyone or everything else that makes me uncomfortable when they or it will not easily go away.
The scandal of the cross makes my life uncomfortable. My chosen model in faith and practice is of a man who emptied himself of all power and authority and became a servant of all humanity. Every decision I have to make in my professional life is burdened by the belief that I should follow his example and his teachings. I do not have it all figured out…and I really doubt I ever will. In the mean time, I will try to be the best CEO of the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Mississippi that I can be by granting wishes to children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy…that is enough to keep me motivated for now!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
A question to myself...What is the greatest challenge you’ve faced in your career/personal life and how did you overcome it?
When I began serving at Mustard Seed 5 ½ years ago, I inherited an organization with a great mission and a real reason to exist…to create a uniquely Christian community for mentally challenged adults. However, I quickly began to realize that there was a significant lack of cohesiveness among the families, board, staff, volunteers, and even donors. Trust was at an all-time low and communication among the different groups was poor. On several occasions the lack of common trust and healthy communication skills resulted in some very harsh personal criticisms leveled at me that created a significant amount of self-doubt and only reinforced my unrealistic desire to have everyone like me. The mission and my leadership were at risk because the people of Mustard Seed shared no common vision for the future.
In the midst of all that mess, I kept being called back to remember why I came in the first place. The Seedsters offered me a glimpse of Christian community that was not present in the “real world.” I deeply needed the level of grace and forgiveness practiced among them and wanted more people to share it too. I began to reach out and surround myself with those who where willing to practice and celebrate the community life present among the Seedsters. I submitted myself to the expertise of others and in return they allowed me to lead. Together we created an expectation that transparency, accountability, and stewardship would be practiced with love, grace, and forgiveness…at all levels. Slowly, and I must emphasize SLOWLY, trust was forged through hard work, we learned how to listen to each other, an expectation of fairness and love was enforced, and a vision for our quirky community began to form.
I am still learning lessons from the Mustard Seed, even as I have experienced a new call to serve the mission of the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Mississippi. I think I was able to overcome most of the challenges by focusing on the following: Keep the mission first. Be willing to listen and remain open to change. Reach out for help if in need. Believe in yourself, but do not believe your own press. Do the right thing, even if few are. Practice hospitality. Treat others the way that you expect to be treated. Forgive. Love God with all that you are and love your neighbor as proof.
When I began serving at Mustard Seed 5 ½ years ago, I inherited an organization with a great mission and a real reason to exist…to create a uniquely Christian community for mentally challenged adults. However, I quickly began to realize that there was a significant lack of cohesiveness among the families, board, staff, volunteers, and even donors. Trust was at an all-time low and communication among the different groups was poor. On several occasions the lack of common trust and healthy communication skills resulted in some very harsh personal criticisms leveled at me that created a significant amount of self-doubt and only reinforced my unrealistic desire to have everyone like me. The mission and my leadership were at risk because the people of Mustard Seed shared no common vision for the future.
In the midst of all that mess, I kept being called back to remember why I came in the first place. The Seedsters offered me a glimpse of Christian community that was not present in the “real world.” I deeply needed the level of grace and forgiveness practiced among them and wanted more people to share it too. I began to reach out and surround myself with those who where willing to practice and celebrate the community life present among the Seedsters. I submitted myself to the expertise of others and in return they allowed me to lead. Together we created an expectation that transparency, accountability, and stewardship would be practiced with love, grace, and forgiveness…at all levels. Slowly, and I must emphasize SLOWLY, trust was forged through hard work, we learned how to listen to each other, an expectation of fairness and love was enforced, and a vision for our quirky community began to form.
I am still learning lessons from the Mustard Seed, even as I have experienced a new call to serve the mission of the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Mississippi. I think I was able to overcome most of the challenges by focusing on the following: Keep the mission first. Be willing to listen and remain open to change. Reach out for help if in need. Believe in yourself, but do not believe your own press. Do the right thing, even if few are. Practice hospitality. Treat others the way that you expect to be treated. Forgive. Love God with all that you are and love your neighbor as proof.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Bill of Non-Rights
"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other cry-babies. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!
"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other cry-babies. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!
Sunday, October 07, 2007
The Difference between Baptists and Presbyterians
A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction.
"Hello," said the little boy.
"Hi," replied the little girl.
"Where are you going?" asked the little boy.
"I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home," answered the little girl.
"Me too," replied the little boy. "I'm also on my way home from church."
Which church do you go to?" asked the little boy.
I go to the Presbyterian church back down the road," replied the little girl. "What about you?"
"I go to the Baptist church back at the top of the hill," replied the little boy.
They discover that they are both going the same way so they decided that they'd walk together. They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially flooded the road so there was no way that they could get across to the other side without getting wet.
"If I get my new Sunday dress wet my Mom's going to skin me alive," said the little girl.
"My Mom will tan my hide too if I get my new Sunday suit wet," replied the little boy.
"I tell you what I think I'll do," said the little girl. "I'm gonna pull off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across."
"That's a good idea," replied the little boy. "I'm going to do the same thing with my suit."
So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without getting their clothes wet.They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before putting their clothes back on when the little boy finally remarked,
"You know, I never did realize before just how much difference there really is between a Presbyterian and a Baptist."
A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction.
"Hello," said the little boy.
"Hi," replied the little girl.
"Where are you going?" asked the little boy.
"I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home," answered the little girl.
"Me too," replied the little boy. "I'm also on my way home from church."
Which church do you go to?" asked the little boy.
I go to the Presbyterian church back down the road," replied the little girl. "What about you?"
"I go to the Baptist church back at the top of the hill," replied the little boy.
They discover that they are both going the same way so they decided that they'd walk together. They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially flooded the road so there was no way that they could get across to the other side without getting wet.
"If I get my new Sunday dress wet my Mom's going to skin me alive," said the little girl.
"My Mom will tan my hide too if I get my new Sunday suit wet," replied the little boy.
"I tell you what I think I'll do," said the little girl. "I'm gonna pull off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across."
"That's a good idea," replied the little boy. "I'm going to do the same thing with my suit."
So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without getting their clothes wet.They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before putting their clothes back on when the little boy finally remarked,
"You know, I never did realize before just how much difference there really is between a Presbyterian and a Baptist."
Saturday, October 06, 2007
I Am a Christian
By Maya Angelou
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."
I'm whispering "I was lost,"
Now I'm found and forgiven.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need CHRIST to be my guide.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and need HIS strength to carry on.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
but, God believes I am worth it.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
who received God's good grace, somehow.
By Maya Angelou
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."
I'm whispering "I was lost,"
Now I'm found and forgiven.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need CHRIST to be my guide.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and need HIS strength to carry on.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
but, God believes I am worth it.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
who received God's good grace, somehow.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
This is what I look like when I am somewhat nervous, but willing to BS my way through it! I was being interviewed while I was Executive Director of the Mustard Seed. I think we were celebrating our 25th Anniversary of ministry to mentally challenged adults.
Some very good perspective on the complex nature of the Middle East...
Mideast Turmoil: More Complex than the Ishmael-Isaac Rift
By: Karen L. Willoughby
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (BP)--While it’s an oversimplification to say the strife in the Middle East at its core is just bad blood between brothers, some people believe there is biblical justification for that position.
They’re referring to Abraham’s two sons by two mothers: Ishmael, the firstborn to handmaiden Hagar, and Isaac, born in God’s timing to 100-year-old Sarah.
Islamic studies professor Samuel Shahid, however, sees the biblical justification theory as flawed, cautioning that it plays to Islamic interests.
“Muslims insist that all Arabs are the descendants of Ishmael in order to give legitimacy to Muhammad as a descendant of the prophet,” said Shahid, a Palestinian educated in Lebanon who teaches at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. “Arabs actually belong to many different branches.”
All Arabs could not have come from Ishmael, Shahid said, because after Sarah died, Abraham married an Arab woman, Keturah.
“Where did she come from, if Ishmael were the first Arab?” Shahid asked.
R. Dennis Cole, professor of Old Testament and archaeology at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, concurred.
"The current designation 'Arabs' is itself multifaceted, including many groups which have no Semitic ancestry," Cole said. "It includes many whose native tongue today is Arabic, but whose ancestry may be Indo-European, African, Arabian (as in from the Arabian peninsula), and many others."
A look at the past provides a roadmap of events leading to the current war raging between Israel and Hezbollah, who are Lebanese Shiites said to be undergirded by Persian Iran, and between Israel and Hamas, who are Palestinian. Both groups call for the eradication of Israel.
BIBLE TIMES
Some people in discussing the current crisis between Israel and Hezbollah to the north and Hamas in the south point to the Roman destruction of Israel by Hadrian less than 150 years after the birth of Jesus. That’s when the Romans, to obliterate any connection Jews might have felt to the area, renamed Canaan with a Latin name -– Syria Palestina –- which corresponded with the Hebraic word rendered “Philistine.”
The name was chosen to remove any connection Jews might have had for the land, Cole said. The Philistines had been Israel’s enemy during the days of Israel's judges. Who were the people who imprisoned Samson and who grew a giant named Goliath? God in Amos 9:7 said He brought the Philistines from Caphtor, which some say is another name for Crete.
“The majority of the Philistines came to the region as part of a mass migration of Aegean and Mediterranean tribes known collectively as the Sea Peoples, who had repeatedly attacked Egypt,” Cole said. Ramesses III drove them out from much of Egypt, but he was unable to oust them from what today is known as the Gaza Strip and north to what today is modern Tel Aviv.
Tiglath-Pileser III of Assyria by 732 B.C. had conquered the Philistines, and all traces of them “as a people or ethnic group” disappeared by the time of Alexander’s conquest of the land in 332 B.C., Cole said. He said he sees no geneaological connection between ancient Philistines and modern-day Palestinians.
The Roman Emperor Hadrian, from 132-135 A.D., squashed a major Jewish uprising, banned Jews from living in Jerusalem and dispersed most remaining Judean Jews throughout the Roman Empire, Cole said.
Arab conquests took Palestine from the Roman Empire in the seventh century, Shahid said, and for the following 850 years, the biblical “Land of Canaan” known as Palestine was occupied by various Arab peoples before becoming part of the Ottoman (Turkish) Empire in 1517.
19th CENTURY
By the early 1800s, Jews, the largest non-Christian group in Europe, were targets for ridicule and discrimination, just as people often are by those who fear anyone “different.” The concept of a homeland for Jews in Palestine was mentioned as early as 1840, Shahid said. By the 1880s, European Jews were buying land in Palestine and farming it, to the chagrin of Bedouin Arabs who didn’t like the fences, and the cry for a Jewish homeland intensified.
WORLD WAR I ERA
The Ottoman Empire was defeated in World War I with the help of Arabs inspired by “Lawrence of Arabia,” a British intelligence officer. As part of the Treaty of Versailles, in 1919 the British Empire was given control of “Palestine,” an area that stretched from the Mediterranean Sea to Iraq. That same year, Britain approved the Balfour Declaration, which appeared to favor the establishment in Palestine of a homeland for Jews, said Nancy Duke, associate professor of history at Louisiana College.
Three years later, the newly formed League of Nations gave Britain a “Palestinian Mandate,” which included “the establishment of the Jewish national home” and “safeguarding the civil and religious rights of all the inhabitants of Palestine,” according to Article 2 of the mandate.
Three months after the signing of the Palestinian Mandate, Britain separated what today is known as Jordan; it then was known as the Transjordan because it was on the other side of the Jordan River from the rest of Palestine. That separation limited Jewish expansion in Transjordan, which resulted in its intensifying in what today is known as Israel, Duke said.
GROWING RESENTMENT
During the 1920s, 100,000 Jewish immigrants settled in Palestine, and the British began to set quotas to stave off rising Arab resentment. One outcome of the resultant hostilities was the separation of the Jewish and Arab economies in Palestine, which had been more or less intertwined until that time.
“That disengagement was a pivotal point at which the Jewish population in Palestine became independent and self-sustaining,” Duke said.
The Great [Arab] Uprising of 1936-39 was essentially a revolt triggered by increased Jewish immigration stemming from European anti-Semitism. The British response included the MacDonald White Paper of 1939, which appeared to many people to rescind the Balfour Declaration. The White Paper indicated that since more than 450,000 Jews were at that time already living in Palestine, the “homeland for Jews” aims of the Balfour Declaration had been met.
“It should be noted that, according to ‘The Modern Middle East from Imperialism to Freedom: 1800-1958’ by Emory Bogle, the Jews remained a decided minority of the population and owned about 5 percent of the land,” Duke said.
Jews felt betrayed by the White Paper; Arabs felt squeezed by Jews buying land that the Arabs hadn’t seen any need for “owning.”
Then came World War II. In its aftermath, 250,000 Jews were stranded in displaced persons camps in Europe, unable to get into Palestine because of British-imposed immigration quotas, set to appease Arabs. Leon Uris’ best-selling book “Exodus” and an Otto Preminger movie of the same name describe that tumultuous time.
“The British continued the immigration ban because they considered it more important to support Arab interests, because of British interests in Egypt and other Arab lands, and especially to guarantee the friendship of oil-rich Saudi Arabia,” Duke said. “As Bogle states, ‘It [the Labour Party] had to protect British interests in the Middle East while it considered necessary adjustments upon the possibility of ending its long domination of India and elsewhere. Also, the Labour Party only endorsed a limited Zionist presence of a Jewish National Home in a bi-national Palestine.’”
STAKING CLAIM
The Jewish underground militia, which had been growing in strength since the late 1930s, began terrorizing the British, including bombing British headquarters at the King David Hotel in Jerusalem in 1946.
“Seeing that the situation was quickly spiraling out of hand, the British announced their desire to terminate their mandate,” Duke said. They were gone by May 1948.
“The Jews seized the opportunity and declared their independence as a state,” Shahid said. “The Arab League fought them, and lost, and the borders were redefined.”
More than 700,000 Arabs scattered during the fighting, mostly to Syria, Egypt, Jordan and Lebanon. Most expected to return to their homes within a few months, but when the Jews won, Arabs were not allowed to return. Resentments festered, Shahid said.
20 YEARS PASS
Political tensions between Israel and her neighbors erupted as armed combat in 1967. That’s when Egypt expelled United Nations forces from the Gaza Strip and closed the strategic Straits of Tiran to Israeli vessels. Israel attacked on June 5, 1967. Six days later, “the Jewish state emerged victorious,” Shahid said. “Israel had defeated the armies of three large Arab states and decimated their air forces. Territorially, Israel conquered the West Bank, Gaza Strip, Sinai Peninsula and Golan Heights.”
Egypt’s foiled attack on Yom Kippur six years later, in 1973, was a blip on an otherwise relatively calm 15-year period, except for near-continual resentment-fueled skirmishes between Israel and her Arab neighbors.
LEBANON
With ancient roots growing into the Ottoman Empire, Lebanon became part of France’s Syrian Mandate, the mainly Christian part of it, after World War I. Enough Arabs lived there, though, that when Lebanon acquired its independence in 1943, agreement was reached that its president would be Christian; prime minister, Muslim; and the head of Parliament, Shiite.
“That is the same still today,” said Shahid, who moved to Lebanon from Jordan in 1960 to study at American University of Beirut.
More than 110,000 Palestinians left their homeland in 1948, when Israel declared itself a Jewish nation. Most expected to return within a few months, but when the Arab League forces were defeated, Arab resentment festered. Starting in 1968, several factions of Palestinian militants began to use southern Lebanon as a launching pad for attacks on Israel, said Shahid, who studied, taught and pastored in Lebanon until the late 1970s.
Resentment simmered between Palestinians and native-born Lebanese as well, and boiled over into a civil war starting in 1975, which ultimately left the nation with no effective central government, Shahid said.
“The civil war reached its peak in 1975, but it continued and continued and things were so bad for 18 years,” Shahid said.
Israel took advantage of the weakened government and retaliated in 1978 for the Palestinian attacks on Israel but was curtailed by the United Nations. Israel invaded Lebanon again in 1982, this time capturing Beirut in its desire to eradicate the Palestinian Liberation Organization from Lebanon. That’s when Hezbollah with the support of Iran started developing, Shahid said.
Israel occupied about a five-mile-wide strip of southern Lebanon until 2000 to protect northern Israeli cities from Hezbollah attacks. U.N. peacekeepers have -– ineffectively, Israelis say –- occupied southern Lebanon since 1978.
Most recently, a seemingly unending series of Hezbollah-driven rocket attacks into northern Israel erupted into retaliatory action July 12, after eight Israeli soldiers were killed and two soldiers kidnapped, according to multiple news sources. Israel went on the offensive, and that’s where we are today.
Copyright (c) 2006 Southern Baptist Convention, Baptist Press.
Mideast Turmoil: More Complex than the Ishmael-Isaac Rift
By: Karen L. Willoughby
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (BP)--While it’s an oversimplification to say the strife in the Middle East at its core is just bad blood between brothers, some people believe there is biblical justification for that position.
They’re referring to Abraham’s two sons by two mothers: Ishmael, the firstborn to handmaiden Hagar, and Isaac, born in God’s timing to 100-year-old Sarah.
Islamic studies professor Samuel Shahid, however, sees the biblical justification theory as flawed, cautioning that it plays to Islamic interests.
“Muslims insist that all Arabs are the descendants of Ishmael in order to give legitimacy to Muhammad as a descendant of the prophet,” said Shahid, a Palestinian educated in Lebanon who teaches at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. “Arabs actually belong to many different branches.”
All Arabs could not have come from Ishmael, Shahid said, because after Sarah died, Abraham married an Arab woman, Keturah.
“Where did she come from, if Ishmael were the first Arab?” Shahid asked.
R. Dennis Cole, professor of Old Testament and archaeology at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, concurred.
"The current designation 'Arabs' is itself multifaceted, including many groups which have no Semitic ancestry," Cole said. "It includes many whose native tongue today is Arabic, but whose ancestry may be Indo-European, African, Arabian (as in from the Arabian peninsula), and many others."
A look at the past provides a roadmap of events leading to the current war raging between Israel and Hezbollah, who are Lebanese Shiites said to be undergirded by Persian Iran, and between Israel and Hamas, who are Palestinian. Both groups call for the eradication of Israel.
BIBLE TIMES
Some people in discussing the current crisis between Israel and Hezbollah to the north and Hamas in the south point to the Roman destruction of Israel by Hadrian less than 150 years after the birth of Jesus. That’s when the Romans, to obliterate any connection Jews might have felt to the area, renamed Canaan with a Latin name -– Syria Palestina –- which corresponded with the Hebraic word rendered “Philistine.”
The name was chosen to remove any connection Jews might have had for the land, Cole said. The Philistines had been Israel’s enemy during the days of Israel's judges. Who were the people who imprisoned Samson and who grew a giant named Goliath? God in Amos 9:7 said He brought the Philistines from Caphtor, which some say is another name for Crete.
“The majority of the Philistines came to the region as part of a mass migration of Aegean and Mediterranean tribes known collectively as the Sea Peoples, who had repeatedly attacked Egypt,” Cole said. Ramesses III drove them out from much of Egypt, but he was unable to oust them from what today is known as the Gaza Strip and north to what today is modern Tel Aviv.
Tiglath-Pileser III of Assyria by 732 B.C. had conquered the Philistines, and all traces of them “as a people or ethnic group” disappeared by the time of Alexander’s conquest of the land in 332 B.C., Cole said. He said he sees no geneaological connection between ancient Philistines and modern-day Palestinians.
The Roman Emperor Hadrian, from 132-135 A.D., squashed a major Jewish uprising, banned Jews from living in Jerusalem and dispersed most remaining Judean Jews throughout the Roman Empire, Cole said.
Arab conquests took Palestine from the Roman Empire in the seventh century, Shahid said, and for the following 850 years, the biblical “Land of Canaan” known as Palestine was occupied by various Arab peoples before becoming part of the Ottoman (Turkish) Empire in 1517.
19th CENTURY
By the early 1800s, Jews, the largest non-Christian group in Europe, were targets for ridicule and discrimination, just as people often are by those who fear anyone “different.” The concept of a homeland for Jews in Palestine was mentioned as early as 1840, Shahid said. By the 1880s, European Jews were buying land in Palestine and farming it, to the chagrin of Bedouin Arabs who didn’t like the fences, and the cry for a Jewish homeland intensified.
WORLD WAR I ERA
The Ottoman Empire was defeated in World War I with the help of Arabs inspired by “Lawrence of Arabia,” a British intelligence officer. As part of the Treaty of Versailles, in 1919 the British Empire was given control of “Palestine,” an area that stretched from the Mediterranean Sea to Iraq. That same year, Britain approved the Balfour Declaration, which appeared to favor the establishment in Palestine of a homeland for Jews, said Nancy Duke, associate professor of history at Louisiana College.
Three years later, the newly formed League of Nations gave Britain a “Palestinian Mandate,” which included “the establishment of the Jewish national home” and “safeguarding the civil and religious rights of all the inhabitants of Palestine,” according to Article 2 of the mandate.
Three months after the signing of the Palestinian Mandate, Britain separated what today is known as Jordan; it then was known as the Transjordan because it was on the other side of the Jordan River from the rest of Palestine. That separation limited Jewish expansion in Transjordan, which resulted in its intensifying in what today is known as Israel, Duke said.
GROWING RESENTMENT
During the 1920s, 100,000 Jewish immigrants settled in Palestine, and the British began to set quotas to stave off rising Arab resentment. One outcome of the resultant hostilities was the separation of the Jewish and Arab economies in Palestine, which had been more or less intertwined until that time.
“That disengagement was a pivotal point at which the Jewish population in Palestine became independent and self-sustaining,” Duke said.
The Great [Arab] Uprising of 1936-39 was essentially a revolt triggered by increased Jewish immigration stemming from European anti-Semitism. The British response included the MacDonald White Paper of 1939, which appeared to many people to rescind the Balfour Declaration. The White Paper indicated that since more than 450,000 Jews were at that time already living in Palestine, the “homeland for Jews” aims of the Balfour Declaration had been met.
“It should be noted that, according to ‘The Modern Middle East from Imperialism to Freedom: 1800-1958’ by Emory Bogle, the Jews remained a decided minority of the population and owned about 5 percent of the land,” Duke said.
Jews felt betrayed by the White Paper; Arabs felt squeezed by Jews buying land that the Arabs hadn’t seen any need for “owning.”
Then came World War II. In its aftermath, 250,000 Jews were stranded in displaced persons camps in Europe, unable to get into Palestine because of British-imposed immigration quotas, set to appease Arabs. Leon Uris’ best-selling book “Exodus” and an Otto Preminger movie of the same name describe that tumultuous time.
“The British continued the immigration ban because they considered it more important to support Arab interests, because of British interests in Egypt and other Arab lands, and especially to guarantee the friendship of oil-rich Saudi Arabia,” Duke said. “As Bogle states, ‘It [the Labour Party] had to protect British interests in the Middle East while it considered necessary adjustments upon the possibility of ending its long domination of India and elsewhere. Also, the Labour Party only endorsed a limited Zionist presence of a Jewish National Home in a bi-national Palestine.’”
STAKING CLAIM
The Jewish underground militia, which had been growing in strength since the late 1930s, began terrorizing the British, including bombing British headquarters at the King David Hotel in Jerusalem in 1946.
“Seeing that the situation was quickly spiraling out of hand, the British announced their desire to terminate their mandate,” Duke said. They were gone by May 1948.
“The Jews seized the opportunity and declared their independence as a state,” Shahid said. “The Arab League fought them, and lost, and the borders were redefined.”
More than 700,000 Arabs scattered during the fighting, mostly to Syria, Egypt, Jordan and Lebanon. Most expected to return to their homes within a few months, but when the Jews won, Arabs were not allowed to return. Resentments festered, Shahid said.
20 YEARS PASS
Political tensions between Israel and her neighbors erupted as armed combat in 1967. That’s when Egypt expelled United Nations forces from the Gaza Strip and closed the strategic Straits of Tiran to Israeli vessels. Israel attacked on June 5, 1967. Six days later, “the Jewish state emerged victorious,” Shahid said. “Israel had defeated the armies of three large Arab states and decimated their air forces. Territorially, Israel conquered the West Bank, Gaza Strip, Sinai Peninsula and Golan Heights.”
Egypt’s foiled attack on Yom Kippur six years later, in 1973, was a blip on an otherwise relatively calm 15-year period, except for near-continual resentment-fueled skirmishes between Israel and her Arab neighbors.
LEBANON
With ancient roots growing into the Ottoman Empire, Lebanon became part of France’s Syrian Mandate, the mainly Christian part of it, after World War I. Enough Arabs lived there, though, that when Lebanon acquired its independence in 1943, agreement was reached that its president would be Christian; prime minister, Muslim; and the head of Parliament, Shiite.
“That is the same still today,” said Shahid, who moved to Lebanon from Jordan in 1960 to study at American University of Beirut.
More than 110,000 Palestinians left their homeland in 1948, when Israel declared itself a Jewish nation. Most expected to return within a few months, but when the Arab League forces were defeated, Arab resentment festered. Starting in 1968, several factions of Palestinian militants began to use southern Lebanon as a launching pad for attacks on Israel, said Shahid, who studied, taught and pastored in Lebanon until the late 1970s.
Resentment simmered between Palestinians and native-born Lebanese as well, and boiled over into a civil war starting in 1975, which ultimately left the nation with no effective central government, Shahid said.
“The civil war reached its peak in 1975, but it continued and continued and things were so bad for 18 years,” Shahid said.
Israel took advantage of the weakened government and retaliated in 1978 for the Palestinian attacks on Israel but was curtailed by the United Nations. Israel invaded Lebanon again in 1982, this time capturing Beirut in its desire to eradicate the Palestinian Liberation Organization from Lebanon. That’s when Hezbollah with the support of Iran started developing, Shahid said.
Israel occupied about a five-mile-wide strip of southern Lebanon until 2000 to protect northern Israeli cities from Hezbollah attacks. U.N. peacekeepers have -– ineffectively, Israelis say –- occupied southern Lebanon since 1978.
Most recently, a seemingly unending series of Hezbollah-driven rocket attacks into northern Israel erupted into retaliatory action July 12, after eight Israeli soldiers were killed and two soldiers kidnapped, according to multiple news sources. Israel went on the offensive, and that’s where we are today.
Copyright (c) 2006 Southern Baptist Convention, Baptist Press.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants, and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey. The evil professor forces everyone to assume new names.....
Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
A=poopsie
B=lumpy
C=buttercup
D=gadget
E=crusty
F=greasy
G=fluffy
H=cheeseball
I=chim-chim
J=stinky
K=flunky
L=boobie
M=pinky
N=zippy
O=goober
P=doofus
Q=slimy
R=loopy
S=snotty
T=tootie
U=dorkey
V=squeezit
W=oprah
X=skipper
Y=dinky
Z=zsa zsa
Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half
of your last name:
A=apple
B=toilet
C=giggle
D=burger
E=girdle
F=barf
G=lizard
H=waffle
I=cootie
J=monkey
K=potty
L=liver
M=banana
N=rhino
O=bubble
P=hamster
Q=toad
R=gizzard
S=pizza
T=gerbil
U=chicken
V=pickle
W=chuckle
X=humperdinck
Y=gorilla
Z=stinker
Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half
of your last name:
A=head
B=mouth
C=face
D=nose
E=tush
F=breath
G=pants
H=shorts
I=lips
J=honker
K=butt
L=Brain
M=tushie
N=chunks
O=hiney
P=biscuits
Q=toes
R=buns
S=fanny
T=sniffer
U=sprinkles
V=kisser
W=squirt
X=humperdink
Y=brains
Z=juice
Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
A=poopsie
B=lumpy
C=buttercup
D=gadget
E=crusty
F=greasy
G=fluffy
H=cheeseball
I=chim-chim
J=stinky
K=flunky
L=boobie
M=pinky
N=zippy
O=goober
P=doofus
Q=slimy
R=loopy
S=snotty
T=tootie
U=dorkey
V=squeezit
W=oprah
X=skipper
Y=dinky
Z=zsa zsa
Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half
of your last name:
A=apple
B=toilet
C=giggle
D=burger
E=girdle
F=barf
G=lizard
H=waffle
I=cootie
J=monkey
K=potty
L=liver
M=banana
N=rhino
O=bubble
P=hamster
Q=toad
R=gizzard
S=pizza
T=gerbil
U=chicken
V=pickle
W=chuckle
X=humperdinck
Y=gorilla
Z=stinker
Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half
of your last name:
A=head
B=mouth
C=face
D=nose
E=tush
F=breath
G=pants
H=shorts
I=lips
J=honker
K=butt
L=Brain
M=tushie
N=chunks
O=hiney
P=biscuits
Q=toes
R=buns
S=fanny
T=sniffer
U=sprinkles
V=kisser
W=squirt
X=humperdink
Y=brains
Z=juice
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
We confess that we spend too much of our lives worrying about what we will eat, drink or wear, that we are not content with what we have, that our love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.
We reject the legalistic, rigid, guilt-producing model for giving and affirm the responsible, compassionate, cheerful model for giving.
We accept the call of Christ to store up treasures in Heaven rather than on earth, to serve God rather than wealth, to seek first God's Kingdom.
We purpose in our heart to give, not sparingly, but bountifully; not reluctantly or under compulsion, but joyfully.
We seek to be like our Lord Jesus Christ who, though He was rich, for our sake became poor so that by His poverty, we might become rich.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Evan and Gabi Sayings from 2004
1/04 Evan and Judy Beaird's grandson were in Sunday School talking about Evan's fish tank he and Gabi got for Christmas. We had mentioned to Evan about getting a plycostomus to help eat the algae in the tank. Somehow Evan and Judy's grandson ended up telling their teachers about the "platypus" that Evan was getting that would eat the "allergies" in the tank.
1/04 While I was on a church Women's Retreat, Trey's sister Stephanie asked Gabi, "where is your mommy?" Gabi immediate response was, "She's sleeping with other women."
1/04 When Evan and Gabi are being silly I say, "You ding dong." (We don't use euphamisms for genitals; we call it what it is, so I didn't think anything about it.) One day I called Gabi a ding dong, and she got upset and said, "Mommy, you shouldn't call me that; that's the name of Colten's penis!" (Colten is her "boyfriend" at Lab School.)
1/04 Gabi and her best friend, Annelise, at Lab School are now known as the "kissy girls" because they like to chase the boys and try to "kiss" them. I knew kissing at Lab School is a definite no, no, so I asked Gabi what happens when she and Annelise play "kissy chase." Gabi said that "kissing" the boys means catching them but that after they are kissed, they have to die.
1/04 Gabi has two make believe friends - Audrey and Mashadamberdamber. She sends Mashadamberdamber to time-out a lot because she "bees rude to me."
1/04 Evan wrote me a "love note" all by himself. It said, "Mom you is a honey." I think I'll frame it!
1/04 Out of the blue, Evan comes and jumps in my lap one night after putting on his PJs and says, "Tickle me, Mom, I'm wearing leather!" No, his PJs are NOT made out of leather; we have no idea where he got this.
4/04 Evan and Gabi arguing about whether they were in my knee or my tummy when they were babies. Evan said to Gabi that there were no stairs down to my knee, so they had to have been in my tummy.
4/04 Evan asked me what we used to use for toliet paper "way-back" in the 80s.
4/04 Laura Bivins (Teacher) comes to dinner at Mark and Kelly's house; Evan says, "It's OK, Andrew, it's happened to me before too."
7/04 Gabi's goldfish, Goldie, died; after sobbing for several minutes about Goldie's death, she looks up at me with tearfilled eyes and says, "Mommy, we're not going to eat her are we?"
8/14 Explaining to Evan about anniversaries and his comment about never getting married because he doesn't want a girl hanging all over him all the time and following him around everywhere.
11/4 Evan's class poll on Bush/Kerry election; Evan voted for Bush because a girl in his class told him Kerry wanted to take over the world. Evan yelling out of the car to Susan to vote for Kerry and Andrew countered, no vote for Bush. Later, Evan told Andrew that Kerry was for the poor and Bush was for business and that he shouldn't put business over the poor.
1/04 Evan and Judy Beaird's grandson were in Sunday School talking about Evan's fish tank he and Gabi got for Christmas. We had mentioned to Evan about getting a plycostomus to help eat the algae in the tank. Somehow Evan and Judy's grandson ended up telling their teachers about the "platypus" that Evan was getting that would eat the "allergies" in the tank.
1/04 While I was on a church Women's Retreat, Trey's sister Stephanie asked Gabi, "where is your mommy?" Gabi immediate response was, "She's sleeping with other women."
1/04 When Evan and Gabi are being silly I say, "You ding dong." (We don't use euphamisms for genitals; we call it what it is, so I didn't think anything about it.) One day I called Gabi a ding dong, and she got upset and said, "Mommy, you shouldn't call me that; that's the name of Colten's penis!" (Colten is her "boyfriend" at Lab School.)
1/04 Gabi and her best friend, Annelise, at Lab School are now known as the "kissy girls" because they like to chase the boys and try to "kiss" them. I knew kissing at Lab School is a definite no, no, so I asked Gabi what happens when she and Annelise play "kissy chase." Gabi said that "kissing" the boys means catching them but that after they are kissed, they have to die.
1/04 Gabi has two make believe friends - Audrey and Mashadamberdamber. She sends Mashadamberdamber to time-out a lot because she "bees rude to me."
1/04 Evan wrote me a "love note" all by himself. It said, "Mom you is a honey." I think I'll frame it!
1/04 Out of the blue, Evan comes and jumps in my lap one night after putting on his PJs and says, "Tickle me, Mom, I'm wearing leather!" No, his PJs are NOT made out of leather; we have no idea where he got this.
4/04 Evan and Gabi arguing about whether they were in my knee or my tummy when they were babies. Evan said to Gabi that there were no stairs down to my knee, so they had to have been in my tummy.
4/04 Evan asked me what we used to use for toliet paper "way-back" in the 80s.
4/04 Laura Bivins (Teacher) comes to dinner at Mark and Kelly's house; Evan says, "It's OK, Andrew, it's happened to me before too."
7/04 Gabi's goldfish, Goldie, died; after sobbing for several minutes about Goldie's death, she looks up at me with tearfilled eyes and says, "Mommy, we're not going to eat her are we?"
8/14 Explaining to Evan about anniversaries and his comment about never getting married because he doesn't want a girl hanging all over him all the time and following him around everywhere.
11/4 Evan's class poll on Bush/Kerry election; Evan voted for Bush because a girl in his class told him Kerry wanted to take over the world. Evan yelling out of the car to Susan to vote for Kerry and Andrew countered, no vote for Bush. Later, Evan told Andrew that Kerry was for the poor and Bush was for business and that he shouldn't put business over the poor.
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